Ambidickstrous

Being able to use the right and left hands equally well when handling a dick

My girlfriend was ambidickstrous, meaning she could finagle a dick with either hand

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Boob seconds

The ratio of Boob seconds to regular seconds is 5:1

Bob: I could have sworn I was only staring at her just for one second
John: Didn’t you know, one second in real time is five seconds in boob seconds