Obvious Jew

A person who is obviously a Jew. OJ's usually are recognizable by their name. To spot an OJ, look at their name. If it sounds Jewish, it probably is.

Be aware that not all people who have Jewish-sounding names are actually Jewish, so don't write in another OJ in your Obvious Jew Scouting notebook unless you're sure they really are a genuine Jew.

Person 1: "Hey, is Ben an Obvious Jew?"
Person 2: "Who, Ben Silverberg? You betcha"

Person 1: "Aaron Goldman is an OJ, right?"
Person 2: "You got that right"

Ink Thief

An Ink Thief is someone who steals pens from shops, banks, and supermarkets for their own personal use. Ink Thieves show no regard for the person who supplied the pens, and just use them for their own enjoyment. Be wary if one of your friends (if you have friends, that is) is an Ink Thief, and if so, don't let them come within a 20 foot radius of any pens in your house.

Person 1: "Hey, John stole my pen!"
Person 2: "Yeah, he stole some pens when I went with him to the bank. That darn Ink Thief"