noff crime

a surprising, unexpected event occuring to someone, where reason says that the person being acted upon would not enjoy the outcome of such an unexpected event; on the contrary, the viewer is rewarded with the elated, welcoming reaction from the actee as the unexpected event unfolds. May be used outside of sexual contexts.

EXAMPLE #1:
Bill: dude... i totally stuck it up her ass last night! and she liked it!! i thought she would hate me...

Ted: whoa... what a total noff crime.

EXAMPLE #2:
:::Protagonist dictating joyously to the on-site Reporter:::

Protagonist: "I am entirely grateful to the city workers who broke that water mane that completely destroyed my backyard by flooding it! I would have never found out that Jimmy Hoffa was buried there! I'm currently in auction on eBay for the highest bidder for his casket! 43 MILLION DOLLARS, HERE I COME!!"

:::Reporter gives vain, hypocritical, empty smile to Protagonist:::

Reporter: ... what a noff crime...