muffins with sweaters

fresh, warm muffins which are placed in a cookie jar and immediately forgotten. after two months, they are found and are moldy as shit. therefor, the muffins appear to have sweaters.

"my mom baked these and i left them in my locker. now i have muffins with sweaters.

confucktion

the clusterfuck created by construction zones

"theres a construction sign ahead"
" this is gonna be a confucktion"

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microreach

the act of reaching for the microwave. this mostly occurs when you live in a one bedroom apartment with no kitchen counters, forcing you to keep the microwave ontop of the refridgerator. the act also causes sadistic enjoyment when you have short friends

"i dont want to go to janie's for lunch, i always have to microreach for my hotpocket"

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beerlusion

the act of being drunk and not agknowledging it. a beer-delusion. also being drunk and thinking the world is spinning. a beer-illusion

"i need to sit down, the room is spinning"
"no, the room isn't spinning, you are having a beerlusion.

ashitbox

a ford taurus. regardless of year.

"hey greg, nice car"
"no, its not a nice car, its ashitbox."

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fat kid heart attack

the potential result of an overweight person having to endure any of the following life threatening events:
1. too much time without food
2. too much of the same food-i.e. 100 candy bars
3. exercise

"man, if i dont eat soon im gonna have a fat kid heart attack"

OR

"let the boy take a break from running before you give him a fat kid heart attack"

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Pedestria

noun-place
While in a drive-thru at McDonalds, you may see a sign stating, "Watch for Pedestrians." This sign, when seen by a stoned person, is referring to the asian or european employees who work at McDonalds. They are "Pedestrians" from the imaginary country of "Pedestria" and it is your duty to not run them over.

"Why don't these people speak English?"
"Because they are from Pedestria, didn't you read the sign?"

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