fag trophy

although it is often mistaken for an official award, it is merely an expression used to denote just how faggy someone is.

'Gosh, that banno sure takes home the fag trophy.'
'You're telling me, could that skirt BE any shorter?'
'Well, physically, it could. But I see what you're getting at.'

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ratcat

a cat whose job it is to CATch rats.

often used when mousetraps would be inconvenient because you could step on then or if somebody lieks cats as a pet.

'Hey Jake, so why are we here on this sunny day at such an indoor pet shop?'
'Well Joseph, I'm here to get me a ratcat.'
'Ratcat? Sorry Jake, i'm unfamiliar with the phrase.'
'Then go look it up on urbandictionary, i don't have time to explain for I'm busy buying a ratcat.'

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fake out

to fake make out, or to make out fakely.

James blushed as his two best friends proceeded to fake out in front of him - he knew they were just faking it to mess with him, but even so he couldn't help a momentary flash of anger and lust; stemming from the many times he had imagined his own lips upon their gossamer-soft angel-lips.

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breastacle

similar to a 'breast', but covered in tentacles; hence the compound word 'breastacle'

most notable for the fact that when you grab one, it can grab you right back.

'Time to cop me a feel of that there breastacle'
*grabs breastacle, in the belief it will somehow endear the female to him*
'Oh motherFUCKER. It just grabbed me back! It's at times like these that i reflect upon the terms IRONIC and COMEUPPANCE.'

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alcohol whore

somebody who, for reasons of age or ultra-strict religious parents (baptist, anyone?), is unable to gain access to the vast quantities of alcohol necessary in these modern times to blur life enough that it seems vaguely tolerable.

they crave this alcohol so, that one who is over 16/18/21 or whatever, can get them to do anything in return for alcohol, and the promise of more alcohol to come.

anything within reason, of course.

Act 1, Sc. 1: Mercutio & Romeo chat in an alleyway. Juliet enters from stage right.

'hey can i have some alcohol?'
aside 'looks like i've got me a 'lil alcohol whore'...
'sure, i've got me an alcopop right here. just get down and gimme 20'
'sure, boss!'
'no, not pushups.'

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nocturtle

a nocturnal turtle; a turtle that is awake at the night time and asleep at the daytime. also known as a party turtle or wartortle.

James, the biggest douche in the universe, wished he was dead, or at least a nocturtle because let's face it he was pretty shit as a human being.

Unfortunately, he was no great shakes as a nocturtle either. May he rot in pieces.

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uow student syndrome

if we let 'uow' equal that institution in the city of wollongong that masquerades as a university, but is accepted only as such by the self-styled students that attend there, and other delusional members of the public...

then we can define 'uow student syndrome' as that peculiar affliction indigenous to the aforementioned students.

symptons include the belief that you actually CHOSE to go to uow, rather than being consigned there by marks that in any fair world would qualify you for nothing but conscription.

'So, poor white kid, where do you go to uni?'
'Wollongong'
'No, I said uni, you r-tard'
'Waaaaaaaaaah, it is too a university! It says so on the sign!!'

Diagnosis: UoW student syndrome.

'DUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!'
'What?'
'It's that one duck that uow could afford that goes around pecking at professors and tutoring the students.'

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