facebook masturbation

one engages in the act of 'facebook masturbation' when one decides to 'like' their own status.

'Dude, maybe if I like my own status, I'll start a trend and people will start responding and liking it and I'll finally be POPULAR!'

Michael is partying down lol haha!
Michael likes this status.

Classic facebook masturbation.

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roll call

this is what happens at the first start of the school day. the teacher will get a piece of paper (or just use their memory if they are a smart teacher) that has the names of the kids in the class on it. she (or he) will read out the names on the list to see who is present, and who is absent.

often the class clown will make a silly answer to make the class laugh at the pure hilarity.

"Ok, let's just get the roll call out of the way and we can get stuck into our work!"
*collective groan*
"Is Leah here?"
"Present, miss."
"Is Dean here?"
"No."
*collective lol*
"Oh, you kids, you really crack me up, I swear, this is why I got into teaching."
*collective lack of interest*

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hamsam

abbreviation for a ham sandwich, in times when you don't have time to say the full expression.

nickname for scott's fat gf.

'i could eat a hamsam right about now now'
' dude, thats scotts girl!'
' no you fuckwit, i meant a ham sandwich. i would never eat out that fatty-boomba.'
'oh, sorry, i totally misunderstood coz hamsam has 2 meanings.'

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