Maryland's Eastern Shore

Known by some as "bumblefuck" or "the Vortex," it's a place where most people who are born there want to get the hell out but just can't, and everyone else thinks it's the most fun place in the world (which would explain why real estate values keep doubling). They wrote the book on the fisherman's way of life, so don't try to trash-talk pick-up trucks, sailing, crabbing, or just sitting in a little rowboat with a cooler full of worms and beer. However, the area's quaint feel and natural, insular background are the perfect conditions for the influx of culture going on at the moment; this is the island the wedding party went back to in Wedding Crashers-- politicians love the area especially in Talbot County, where there are a lot of republican sympathies (as opposed to the western shore) but also a fair few music producers stay to chill out and enjoy a very low-maintenance lifestyle. Only warnings: don't get too violent if someone "pipes" you, there is a disproportionate number of old people, and cops hate teenagers, who can sometimes get arrested for things like loitering and underage posession of cigarettes. Solution: boat parties. Disclaimer: avoid Cambridge at all costs, unless you feel like investing in condoms to wear as gloves. You'll need them.

We're headed to Maryland's Eastern Shore-- yeah, there's gonna be a crab-picking festival, the governor and Dave Matthews are gonna be there.

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