slap happy

Slap happy describes a guy who likes to jerk off A LOT - as in more than what is considered normal or healthy.

Dave: "Have you seen Bill around?" Bob, "No, I haven't seen Bill around in a long while - I heard he likes to stay in and slap his slap-stick around all day - I'm afraid he's gone slap happy!"

bat fungus

Is something that develops when a bat flies down and bites you in the ass and you get an itchy flaky rash in your butt crack. Also known as a butt fungus.

My ass has been itchy a lot lately, I think I might have a bat fungus.