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Random
1. the leak of confidential information out of the U.S. federal government's data bases, that is subsequently leaked to the general public on wikipedia, making the government look foolish.
The clowns in the federal government still haven't stopped the wiki trickle. Too bad the information isn't interesting.
12π 3π
1. a small sharp arrow, shot through a blowgun into the neck of someones screaming child, delivering enough Benadryl into the bloodstream to put the child into a deep sleep for 8 hours.
On the redeye flight to Rome from Atlanta, we were seated behind a screaming three year old brat with oblivious parents. I rolled up my inflight magazine into a tight tube, loaded a "Benadryl Dart" from the handy travel package and pretended to cough into the tube. A perfect shot right in the jugular vein! Minutes later, everyone on the plane enjoyed the silence and drifted off into dreamland (including the pilots).
20π 3π
to systematically feel up a passenger in an airport, while pretending not to be a pervert.
Latisha, the T.S.A. agent, couldn't wait to get to work so she could "scanhandle" some fat women's breasts.
1. a shot of liquor taken from the belly button of an unkempt person.
Sarah was really drunk by the time she decided to take body shots off of Willy the biker. As she sucked the cheap tequila from his navel, she got a rude awakening when a soggy mass of "lint liquor" lodged in the back of her throat.
14π 1π
1. a man who carries his wife's purse, lipstick, keys, sunglasses, furniture, luggage, pianos, etc.
She really didn't want to carry a purse around all day, so she made her "shurpa" wear cargo pants, then she filled his pockets with her stuff.
17π 3π
1. an extremely long pause during a public announcement over an intercom, where the microphone is still keyed and making static noise, indicating a brain fart by the person making the announcement.
Bruce was very nervous on his first day as a stewardess. While making the the safety announcement, he slipped into an "intercoma" in the middle of explaining the oxygen masks.
For nearly thirty seconds, the microphone hissed in the passenger's ears until he regained his train of thought.
Flying an aircraft for a company that keeps cutting benefits, safety programs, and salaries in order to give the top executives more money.
Captain Crunch was tired, but he climbed back in the cockpit for another flight. This was no longer fun or profitable. In fact, sometimes he suspected the maintenance wasn't really getting done. He decided to keep his head down and his mouth shut to avoid a beat down by management. The "slaviation" industry had broken his will to resist. The plane took off and exploded in mid-air thirty minutes later.
14π 1π