Greek For Life

The opposite of winning the lottery.

John: I won the lottery!
Jim: Ah damnit, I'm Greek.

31👍 192👎

old dick

1) A penis, aged to the point where it has absolutely no sexual use.

2) A prick over the age of 50 who does shit just to piss you off.

Woman: Hey there you rich senior citizen, how about coming into the hot tub and fucking me until you have a corinary?
Old Man: I can't, I have an old dick.

or

Jim: That 60 year old guy down the street tipped over my barbeque because he said it was making too much noise.
John: Shit guy, that bastard down the street sure is an old dick.

56👍 28👎

kirking out

What happens when someone sees Kirk Cameron and enjoys it.

I was flipping channels, and Growing Pains was on, so I started kirking out!

9👍 72👎

strawberry banana

Two fruits that, when combined, become the most bad ass superfruit ever.

I'm going to eat me some strawberry banana yogurt, because it kicks serious ass.

71👍 29👎

fruit salad

A homosexual orgy.

There was an abundance of banana in that fruit salad.

24👍 42👎

throw under the bus

This is what you do when you can't think of any other way to break up with your girlfriend.

I didn't want to hurt Jane's feelings, so I just threw her ass under the bus instead.

23👍 128👎

kirk cameron

That idiot who was on Growing Pains...he has curly hair, and his sister played DJ on Full House.

I wouldn't fuck Kirk Cameron, but I'd probably do his sister. Probably.

88👍 43👎