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internet expert

A form of armchair expert who gains all their knowledge from the internet and then enlightens others on social media. The accuracy of their source information may be suspect, their analysis and conclusions are likely flawed, but they will shout down anyone who dares to challenge their expertise in the field.

In an online discussion of tractors on a newspaper website I posted that a problem with modern tractors was that a fault with the electronics could stop them dead and require a technician with a laptop to fix. An Internet Expert informed me that it was always possible for a modern tractor to "limp home" however bad the failure "in his experience".

I pointed out that I was a farmer and that for example on a Massey 5465 with Dyna 4 the gear selection is electronic, the rear hydraulics are electronic and a fault in either could strand a tractor in the middle of a field (no power or stuck anchored to the ground by a harrow or plough). The Internet Expert went very quiet!

by fubarderby October 14, 2014

7πŸ‘ 3πŸ‘Ž


ethically challenged

Politically correct euphemism for "dishonest".

Tony Bliar is ethically challenged over most issues.

by fubarderby July 24, 2005

25πŸ‘ 7πŸ‘Ž


eiffel tower

Certainly the oldest, and also one of the world's largest pieces of scaffolding.

After 130 years, nobody can remember what it was put up for.

Nice piece of scaffolding. I wonder what it was meant for.

by fubarderby May 8, 2005

519πŸ‘ 750πŸ‘Ž


BMW

Black Man's Wheels.
Overrated cars that are no better than a Vectra/Mondeo/etc, but have "brand cachet" (i.e. gullible fools are prepared to pay a lot more to get the same thing, but with a nicer badge).
The interiors are horrible. Claustrophobic (come up very high at the front) and in a really nasty grey/blue plastic.
Often driven by accountants, sales reps and estate agents, which says it all...
BMW dealers treat their customers like scum and have their hands in their customers' pockets at every opportunity.
Don't even touch the X3 or X5 SUVs for towing a horsebox. You would be better off getting the horse to tow the car out of a wet field of grass!

Idiot: I have a brand new BMW 325i.
Me: When will you have paid for this toy?
Idiot: Ehhh, about 10 years after I die.
Me: Enjoy...

by fubarderby September 13, 2006

45πŸ‘ 910πŸ‘Ž


anarchist

A good idea, in theory, like socialism, christianity and democracy. However, like those others, it falls down in practice, because it ignores human nature. Human nature is not to be nice to each other, it is to get a big stick, whack the other person over the head and take all his stuff as that is easier than getting your own stuff.

Terence is an anarchist and wears black clothes and big boots so as to not conform to the stereotype of all anarchists wearing black clothes and big boots. We felt obliged to teach him about human nature, so beat 7 bells out of him. Why? Because we can!

by fubarderby February 11, 2005

38πŸ‘ 135πŸ‘Ž


estate girl

Female of the species who hangs around late-opening shops, chippies, kiddies' playground, etc. making a nuisance of herself. Often hunt in packs. Wears too much make up. Smokes from the age of 12. Attracted to "phat motors" (AKA skips) driven by "rude boys" (AKA chav scum).

Their goal in life is to get pregnant before they are 14 (i.e. left on the shelf), get a council flat, live "on the social" and then have a few more technicolour children by assorted males until they are 35 and either get stabbed by a child/partner or die of an overdose/lung cancer.

Mutya from The Sugarbabes.

by fubarderby February 11, 2005

32πŸ‘ 16πŸ‘Ž


Nottingham

Urban firing range located in the East Midlands of England. The Chief Constable of Notts this week complained publicly that he is going to have to subcontract some murder investigations because his detectives cannot cope with the workload.

Boss: "We want you to move to Hucknall (north side of Nottingham) to work".
Me: "No thanks. I will stay in Derby as it is safer here".

by fubarderby March 16, 2005

249πŸ‘ 151πŸ‘Ž