Nottingham

Urban firing range located in the East Midlands of England. The Chief Constable of Notts this week complained publicly that he is going to have to subcontract some murder investigations because his detectives cannot cope with the workload.

Boss: "We want you to move to Hucknall (north side of Nottingham) to work".
Me: "No thanks. I will stay in Derby as it is safer here".

249👍 151👎

Trap

Toilet cubicle in Rolls-Royce. So called because they used to have trapdoors in the door at head height for foremen (supervisors) to open and check who was inside.

Don't use the third trap along, someone has spattered all up the walls.

9👍 18👎

Yes Car Credit

Dodgy British car finance company that sells rubbish cars (e.g. ex rental Vauxhall Astras) to the desperate.

"I just got out of jail for fraud and owe £250K. Can I have get a Ferrari?"

"Yes you can."

13👍 2👎

NRA

They protect the 2nd amendment - the right to bear flintlock muskets...in a properly consituted milita.

I don't see any mention of assault rifles, self-loading pistols, etc. in there.

How many of their members are members of the army reserve, national guard, etc?

Old law that has been twisted to allow drunken rednecks to keep AK-47s under their beds.

102👍 178👎

barista

Coffee bitch. Not to be confused with a barrister.

Idiot: "I work as a barista".
Me (winding up idiot): "So you are a lawyer who works in the High Court?"
Idiot (confused): "Ehhh no I make coffee in Starbucks."
Me (sniggering): "Ahhh, you mean you are a coffee bitch."

143👍 188👎

CRS

Compagnie Republique de Securite. French riot police. Mainly recruit in the countryside as most riots occur in the town, so they get the opportunity to wop, tear-gas and water-cannon townies.

The Parisians hippies were rioting again, so the CRS went and cracked some skulls.

44👍 67👎

breeders

Breeders are those that choose to have children and get state handouts, extra days off work, preference for choosing their holidays, all at the expense of us who choose not to breed.

I don't want to see photos of your ugly off spring, hear about how clever/funny/cute they are and I certainly don't appreciate you passing their infections on to me.

162👍 82👎