machiavelli

Awesome dude who lived in Italy a loong time ago. His best known book is "The Prince", which contains political tips for rulers. Some of his ideas from this book (and maybe a few from "The Discourses") as far as I can remember:

-The Prince must be ruthless.
-Effectiveness > good/bad.
-Power should be acquired, not hereditary.
-People are moral because others are watching. Political morality is lying and killing. Politicians must learn how NOT to be good.
-Be feared; cruelty is a part of the state. But remember that the best fortress that exists is to avoid being hated by the people. Three ways to avoid being hated: Don't be erratic. Don't be a coward, FIGHT. And don't do anything for no reason.
-Concept of seeming vs being: The Prince, while seeming human, must learn how to be a beast. Like a fox (cunning and tricky) or a lion (powerful).
-And my personal favorite, he talks about these two dudes named Agathocles the Sicilian and Oliverotto of Fermo who both held meetings/banquets with leaders and important people and killed them all and took over as ruler. Point is, the elite can be killed, they're not important. The people are important.
-Choose the people around you wisely. Ass kissers prevent you from seeing the truth cause they're always like "yes, you're awesome" to everything.
-For a strong society, you must assume that everyone has the potential to be evil and make laws accordingly. People act good only when forced, laws exist where desire is.

Lindsay Lohan was once photographed walking around with a copy of Machiavelli's book. True story.

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american beer

H2O (or HOH) is the most abundant molecule on the surface of the earth. At room temperature it is a nearly colorless, tasteless, and odorless liquid. Boils at 100°C, freezes at 0°C. You should drink at least 8 glasses of it a day.

The Temperance Movement took a toll on the production and quality of american beer.

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head over heels

Best feeling in the world.

"I'm absolutely head over heels for you."
"You're delusional."
"Call it what you will, I think its the best feeling in the world."
"Yeah I'm pretty sure I know the feeling."
"<3"

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preggers

A disgustingly annoying word that makes my eye twitch, usually used by sickeningly cute couples or the painfully exasperating media.

"omg we're preggerrrrzzszsz!"
"omg stfu. =|"

or

"you're watching e! newz omg angelina jolie is preggers! again!"
"omg stfu.=|"

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Amanda Autopsy

Myspace celebrity. Unlike other Myspace celebrities, she actually has a life. Known for her unphotoshopped pictures, sick make up, brutally honest blogs, random bulletins and shaving off her eyebrows. Likes things such as the Beatles, MAC Cosmetics, cute girls, taking showers, vegetarianism, cute guys, her sister, and Jesus. She is better than you, and that's a fact.

"Yo that Amanda Autopsy is a cool chick. I hope she replies to my comment."

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locke

John Locke is not the bald dude from Lost. John Locke is an English Philosopher who even influenced the American Declaration of Independence.

"omg john locke is so awesome"
"oh yeah, I read his book."
"omfg they have Lost books?"
"You lost your book?"
"What book?"
"..."

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you got mail

The phrase I hear every time I check my aol email that makes me want to punch a wall.

"YOU GOT MAIL"
"omg wtf stfu" *punches wall*

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