Jacker

Jacker is a teenager who gets buzzed after drinking too many bang energy drinks. he listens to kidzbop while snorting cocaine. known as “Tubby” by his friends. he tries hard to get his vertical up. it is nearly as high as he gets after his cheeto dust-meth sessions. he feels comforted by beef sticks. tries to keep his relationship with his purple-haired girlfriend secret. he also after they annoy him to his sister’s dismay. becomes self conscious when called a gringo.

Jacker used to be emo and listen to 21 pilots.

Samwell

a strange person who thinks mayonnaise is spicy. his main hobby is baking bread, but only in loaf shape. he dresses in neon often. he loves all things traffic cones. he refers to York peppermint patties as “yonks”. he tends to shake uncontrollably when doing anything that involves physical exertion.

Samwell swears someone put pepper flakes in his mayonnaise.

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