Quarter assed

When you can't even muster half of an ass to do something you deem undesirable, such as mowing your lawn, writing a book report, or raising your children.

My boss told me to have the sales figures drawn up on the double. It was Friday afternoon, so I put together a quarter assed powerpoint presentation for the meeting.

Infinite Campus

The average/failing/truant student's greatest enemy. No longer are your attendance and academic records only seen by your parents every six weeks. With Infinite Campus, your mother and father have instant access to your grades and attendance records. So if you have a 2.5 GPA and regularly skip bullshit classes, like me, you're fucked.

I got the whooping of my life last night when my dad saw that I got a 38% on my trigonometry test.

Fuck you Infinite Campus.

48👍 3👎

30h!3

A band that produces music intended to be listened to while taking a large, steamy shit.

I had violent diarrhea the other day while listening to "House Party" by 30h!3.

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Old people porn

Pornography that showcases the appalling and questionably legal act of two or more old fuckers having hot, steamy old people sex. Usually can be found under the "Mature" category on most porn sites.

See lemonparty for more information.

Jimmy Nichols: Dad, what is old people porn?

Mr. Nichols: Shut the fuck up and eat your goddamn peas Jimmy. I don't have time for your bullshit.

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Trigonometry

Useless bullshit that you'll forget the second you graduate from high school.

Me: Hey Mrs. Smith, when am I ever going to use trigonometry?

Mrs. Smith: On the next test.

Me: Go fuck yourself you scruffy bitch.

636👍 109👎

Laziness

Being lazy is not an affliction; it is a blessing. Those of us who embrace laziness soon wonder why we tried so long to deny ourselves its comforts. People are fucked, the world is fucked, so sit back and light up. What else you got to do?

Laziness:

Bro 1: You lazy cunt, that's the fifth time you've watched "The Big Lebowski" in the past two days. This rent ain't paying itself, you know.

Bro 2: Chill dude, you're clogging up my airway with your progressiveness. Now pass me that roach, why don't you.

49👍 11👎

Modern Warfare 2

The sequel to Infinity Ward's 2007 masterpiece, Call of Duty 4: Modern Warfare.

Set to release on November 10th, 2009, this game will blow your mind, and that's a fact. Don't ask me for my time machine, because I don't need one to know that that's true.

guy #1: Dude did you hear about Modern Warfare 2?

guy #2: No dude, what's that.

guy #1: (bitch slaps guy #2) That question doesn't even deserve a response.

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