tour de france

n. Any pursuit that seems pointless, needlessly difficult, lacking in spectator appeal, and corrupt.

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WE are going to bring a planeload of Canadians down to the casino for an ice-curling tournament.

Isn't that kind of a tour de france?

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New York

place. Bustling metropolis brimming with night life and dreamy-eyed folk chasing both the promise that is America and a sea of yellow cabs. Unlimited opportunity but limited seating. Concrete spires surrounding halal food carts beside world-class museums. Pigeons. So many pigeons. Many with feathers.

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Wow. That hurricane Sandy really messed this place up.

No. This is how it always looks.

Hey! How about those New York Knickerbockers!

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shoveling white

v. Clearing snow off the skatepark or, by extension, other surfaces such as sidewalks and stairways.

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Dude! It's blizzardy! Looks like we'll be shoveling white tomorrow.

"Blizzardy"? Do you ever speak proper English?

make the playoffs

v. phrase To do well at a meeting, school assignment, on a date etc. An obvious parallel with the world of sports is bing drawn.

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Yo, that is some excellent essaying you got going there. You keep up that fine sentence writing and you are a top pick to make the playoffs.

Ahhh, thanks teach.

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push-up bro

n. Ego boosting male friend.

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I'll never get a date. My hair is dweebish. My taint itches. My confidence is sagging.

Sounds like you need a push-up bro.

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fruitstickle

n. Any fruit served on a short, usually wooden, stick. Commercially prepared faux flower arrangements are the usual, but not the only, source.

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Whoa, dude! I am totally wiped from doing all these leapstands. How about we get a couple of fresh frozen fruitstickles?

Fresh frozen fruitsicles?

No, "fruitstickles".

No thanks, sounds lame.

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not the masters

n. phrase - Expression used when denegrating any mundane sexual experience
or second-rate event.

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Did you see my son's basketball game? What did you think?

Well, it's not the masters.

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