wheelnut monkey

n. an assistant or apprentice to a mechanic and, by extension, any lackey or lesser being in any endeavor.

1) Look at all the stinking grime in there. I am not touching that!

No sweat. The wheelnut monkey will handle it. Don't let him wear gloves.

2) Get the wheelnut monkey to read these documents and talk to the press about them.

Okay Mr President. I'll get Mr. Biden right on it.

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fill the moat

v. phrase. British euphemism for emptying one's bladder. Similar to watering the cricketfield, but with more urgency and volume.

Cor blimey mate. I don't half need to fill the moat, and no mistake.

Would Your Majesty care for a bucket?

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guard

n. An ice-curling term for a granite stone large enough to prevent opposition rocks from hacking into the button. Traditionally a guard is pushed into the house in the later stages of the draw to sweep a tie.

............................

Nice guard placement. I can almost taste the tankard coffee!

Yeah! We will be totally briaring this week-end.

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fylup

n. replenishment of energy, usually after an extended period of decadence or studying.

I am so beat that a calming fylup at the park is totally needed before I can even talk.

Why is the cafe always closed when I crave a fylup?

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Ang Vee

v. 1) skateboarder term synonymous with "hang five". Usually used in an ironic sense or by lame wannabees.

2) a sexual euphemism.

.

Dudes! I got me some new driftwood and I am going to totally Ang Vee tonight!

Yeah? Well I don't look it but I assure you I am very thrilled for you.

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ballpark

v. 1) estimate. A word, based on an obscure reference, that makes no sense to non-Americans.

2) a sexual practice.

I don't know when the Dentist can see you but I could probably ballpark you at four.

Will that help my toothache?

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Sluiceville

place. Withered town relying on rock-hound tourism to keep afloat. The kindness of strangers pays the wages at the Food and Fuel Emporium as well as Hiram's Hostelry and the trickle-down effect stops the leakage of young adults to the sleaze of the bigger towns in the Greater Gravelbend Region.

Rock collectors and iron pyrite enthusiasts congregate at the sluiceworks where steam-driven donkey-pumps have been keeping the tailings dry since 1846 when the gold ran out.

A new high fence is being hastily constructed upstream from town.

Cheese making and quilt pressing are now the main cottage-industries along with whittlin' likenesses of Grover Cleveland, who was born just up the river.

A gravel-slide that destroyed the saltine factory is surmounted by a cairn constructed of imported pebbles brought to the site by pilgrims after a local trapper had a dream in which he was commanded to build an edifice of stones to commemorate the disaster.

Aleuts have recently built a new seasonal encampment upstream from town.

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Let's take some pebbles up to Sluiceville to build up the cairn a bit. We could get the quilt pressed too if the line isn't too long.

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