draining the moat

v. phrase. British expression for emptying one's bladder. Also a sexual euphemism.

.....................................................................................

Thanks awfully for the cucumber sandwiches my lady but I fear it is now time for draining the moat.

Sorry?

I need to take my corgi for a walk.

Pardon?

It's time to get my valet to lower my trouserings so I may lift my drawbridge and take care of the teathings.

Are you coming on to me?

No my majesty!

Pity.

4👍 1👎

soulberg

n. short but intricate written piece containing insights and truths on the human condition as well as sly amusements lurking in complex word play. Ninety percent of the meaning is hidden beneath the surface.

John Lennon and James Joyce employed many intricate soulbergs which force the reader to think about what he's reading. The titles "A Hard Day's Night", "In His Own Write" and even "The Beatles" employ puns which are the simplest form of soulbergs.

Hmmm. Deep. Very deep.

18👍 8👎

Benalto

place. Ideally situated on a glacial morraine, Benalto has cleverly used its alluvial gravel stocks to thrust itself into the forefront of the small-rocks industry.

Rodeo enthusiasts abound, as do deer hunters, mushroom pickers, scapula maintainance workers and roadsign repair shops.

Bouldering enthusiasts have recently added Benalto to the list of "must see" rock climbing locales in the West Central Alberta Region and a History of Granite Exfoliation display at the mine site is a Canadian shield enthusiast's mecca.

Why is the rodeo infield so bumpy?

This is Benalto! That is golden gravel!

30👍 31👎

vocabulotome

n. Book, computer reference-ware, or smart phone app etc. that, like a thesaurus, provides synonyms.

.............................

I couldn't think of another word for "thesaurus" so I checked my vocabulotome.

That is so last week! I'd have looked in a synophile.

27👍 4👎

awkward paws

n. Hands that drop condoms,surgical instruments, trays of food, Nobel Prize medals etc.

..............................

That new scrub nurse is pretty sweet.

Yeah, but I hear she has awkward paws.

24👍 4👎

shovel monkey

n. Originally a person employed to dig small holes or move gravel from place to place but now used in an unflattering manner to describe office or retail workers on low rungs.

..............................

If there's too many boxes to unpack just get a couple of shovel monkeys to help.

Really? Wow! I thought I was a shovel monkey.

You are, but today you can have some lesser shovel monkeys to boss around. No flicking feces at them though.

21👍 7👎

pumpkin face

n. A face that has been cut, carved and disfigured in gang wars or hockey fights etc.

Yo! Dude! That is one nasty pumpkin face that you are sporting. You a Blood or something?

No. I was pucking when I should have been ducking.

20👍 13👎