Red Deer

place. Small Canadian city nestled between oil wells gushing rich prosperity onto the upturned faces of the throngs of happy citizens who have a tendency to thank God and vote slightly right wing. Rebels hockey rules in winter. Swatting flying bugs rules in summer. Dinosaurs are under the ground but they are deep enough that nobody gets hurt.

.

Do you feel like going to Red Deer this weekend?

No. Not really.

25👍 17👎

hoodsmash

n. any badly executed radical skateboarding trick that results in the boarder lying prostrate across a car hood and, by extension, any fouled-up trick, corporate merger, blind date, major intra-abdominal operation etc.

Yo dude! Did you hear that Natalie totally untwisted a choledochoduodenotomotic anastamosis so it wasn't a total hoodsmash?

Was she on her unicycle at the time? I'm just saying, 'cause that would have been totally awesome.

21👍 9👎

drifter

n. 1) radical skateboarding move in which one moves transversely across a sloped surface so as to induce a skid of the rear wheels.

2) a stock movie character who has a hidden, damaging past and a big heart ... which he usually keeps in a gunnysack.

3) a sexual euphemism.

Dude! Like did you hear man? I totally did a drifter in the skatepark yesterday!

Hmmm. I'm not sure that's something to crow about. Oh! You mean the skater move.

Actually, no.

38👍 59👎

dietproof

adj. so delicious that it will inevitably be consumed even by people on diets.

.

These panda cheesecake squares are dietproof.

Stand back! I have a bag of dietproof donuts and I'm not afraid to throw them into the cockpit!

12👍 3👎

slang

v. past perfect verb tense of sling.

..............................

David! Where's that rock you slang at Goliath? It may have exceeded the official weight limit.

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leapstand

n. radical skateboarding trick in which the boarder leaps upwards, does a back flip, and lands on the board in a handstand.

Dude! After this truck goes by I'm going to try an ollieollieoxenfree into a leapstand. You be ready to dial 911.

24👍 5👎

penguin's life

n. any lifestyle consisting of existence in a bleak setting surrounded by identical people, houses, jobs etc.

Hey, are you going to apply for the associate dough stirrer position when Doug finally succombs to starchy pulmonary granulomatosis?

No way! The penguin's life is not for me. I'm gonna open a bong repair shop in Malibu and surf, surf, surf.

Don't forget to buy a black and white tuxedo wet suit.

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