Bronwyn Bay

place. Newfoundland coastal village. Extensive gravel deposits, exposed and turned into perfect spheres by the constant pounding of the Irish Sea, are the primary source of income for the local crofters who produce intricately woven expensive jewelry from the smaller stones and find industrial applications for the larger boulders.

Tourism is largely non-existent, as is the case in most of Newfoundland, but a few agate enthusiasts come annually for the Pepple Fest.

Squid jigging, dory repair, and flannel mending are the other sources of both income and entertainment, although a hockey rink is scheduled for completion in 2017.

The town was founded in 1876 by a group of Scottish curlers who saw the area's rocks as a source of curling stones but the pebbling was unfortunately dextro-rotary so the stones were only good for anti-podean usage.

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Hey. Let's take our dory over to Bronwyn Bay to get her all decked off.

Okay, but mind the rocks,eh!

That's what she said!

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stretch market

n. fictional place where women obtain stretch marks; caution should be employed when using word around pregnant people.

Check out Rebecca. Methinks she's been spending a lot of time at that new stretch market.

What'd I hear you say? You come back here! You hear!

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milk the goat

1) n. radical skateboarding move in which the rider leaps over an animal while the board runs under the animal. Care should be taken that the animal is not particularly skittish. By extension "milk the steel goat" is the same move but a car is employed instead of an animal.

2) v. sexual euphemism.

Yo! Dude! Check out the Great Dane! Time for a milk the goat! Wanna watch?

Uhhh. You mean the noun, right?

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Florididian

Adj. Having the characteristics of Florida i.e. full of warmth, splendor, and ostentatious oppulence with a touch of violent danger.

All we need is some Stingrays in the pool and some naked foosball to make this party truly Florididian!

By "Stingrays" do you mean the deadly poisonous aquatic animals or the 1960's Chevrolet corvettes?

Either way man! What are you ... a pedant or something? Just load them in there before Lebron walks out.

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Stony Plain

place. Canadian "city" solidly cemented to Edmonton's rock-strewn flank . Devoid of pretensions, quarries and night life, Stony Plain has been poised to be "the next big thing" in Upper West Central Alberta for over 125 years. Churches, bingo halls, outdoor tractor pulls, indoor gravel assessment bazaars, and a squeegee factory slated for opening in 2014, are all bringing unwanted attention to the area which is quietly trying to slide into the yielding topsoil.

Hockey, soccer and table tennis are all sports watched on TV in Stony Plain where HBO is just a dream.

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No community hosts a slo-pitch tournament like Stony Plain.

Well there's something to be thankful for.

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hullaballo

n. pointlessly long, involved, noisy celebration over trivial victory in marginalised sport or activity.

Now that the University of Lethbridge has won the Canadian women's rugby championship I imagine there'll be a Pronghorn hullaballo that'll make Taylor Swift's album launch look like a NASCAR truck race victory party.

It ain't a real hullaballo until the geriatric strippers arrive! That's what I'm sayin'! Word up!

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penguin's life

n. any lifestyle consisting of existence in a bleak setting surrounded by identical people, houses, jobs etc.

Hey, are you going to apply for the associate dough stirrer position when Doug finally succombs to starchy pulmonary granulomatosis?

No way! The penguin's life is not for me. I'm gonna open a bong repair shop in Malibu and surf, surf, surf.

Don't forget to buy a black and white tuxedo wet suit.

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