replacement ref

n. Anyone trying to do a job or perform a task that is clearly out of their league, or beyond their capability.

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Why is this bus turning down a one-way street?

I think there's a replacement ref driving.

Word.

havoc scarf

n. face-shielding clothing worn during riots.

Crickey! There's a bleedin' riot down by the pub. You coming mate?

Hang about. I've only got to get me havoc scarf first so I don't look a total wally.

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usain

adj. Quick, quick witted, or first in any contest or pursuit, intellectual or otherwise. Often used by skateboarders in an ironic sense.

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Dude! You are so usain! Flipping air under that Mazda was the bolt!

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hockey shtick

n. heated but often humorous verbal jousting in which the attributes of hockey players and teams are discussed.

You think that schmuck Gretzky, who isn't good enough to clean the blood off the elbow pads of Howe never mind the jock strap of Morenz, is the greatest? Oi Vey!

Enough with the hockey shtick mam. We're trying to watch porn.

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Florididian

Adj. Having the characteristics of Florida i.e. full of warmth, splendor, and ostentatious oppulence with a touch of violent danger.

All we need is some Stingrays in the pool and some naked foosball to make this party truly Florididian!

By "Stingrays" do you mean the deadly poisonous aquatic animals or the 1960's Chevrolet corvettes?

Either way man! What are you ... a pedant or something? Just load them in there before Lebron walks out.

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condumb

n. State of mind, often induced by alcohol, in which one is unaware of the need for coital prophylaxis.

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Yo Stephanie! Nice baby bump girl. Looks like your condumb comes six to a case not three to a box.

Say what? I ain't no good at math.

Yeah. Or biology.

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soiler alert

n. secret notification, usually from one nurse to another, that a patient has been incontinent of feces or urine; a signal used by care staff who wish to avoid the clean-up or who wish to save the patient's dignity by removing visitors from the room.

This is a funny time for emergency blood work. And what the heck is a serum reiff-trenchel osmolality?

Don't be a dweeb doctor. That was just a soiler alert.

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