guard

n. An ice-curling term for a granite stone large enough to prevent opposition rocks from hacking into the button. Traditionally a guard is pushed into the house in the later stages of the draw to sweep a tie.

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Nice guard placement. I can almost taste the tankard coffee!

Yeah! We will be totally briaring this week-end.

fylup

n. replenishment of energy, usually after an extended period of decadence or studying.

I am so beat that a calming fylup at the park is totally needed before I can even talk.

Why is the cafe always closed when I crave a fylup?

Ang Vee

v. 1) skateboarder term synonymous with "hang five". Usually used in an ironic sense or by lame wannabees.

2) a sexual euphemism.

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Dudes! I got me some new driftwood and I am going to totally Ang Vee tonight!

Yeah? Well I don't look it but I assure you I am very thrilled for you.

ballpark

v. 1) estimate. A word, based on an obscure reference, that makes no sense to non-Americans.

2) a sexual practice.

I don't know when the Dentist can see you but I could probably ballpark you at four.

Will that help my toothache?

Sluiceville

place. Withered town relying on rock-hound tourism to keep afloat. The kindness of strangers pays the wages at the Food and Fuel Emporium as well as Hiram's Hostelry and the trickle-down effect stops the leakage of young adults to the sleaze of the bigger towns in the Greater Gravelbend Region.

Rock collectors and iron pyrite enthusiasts congregate at the sluiceworks where steam-driven donkey-pumps have been keeping the tailings dry since 1846 when the gold ran out.

A new high fence is being hastily constructed upstream from town.

Cheese making and quilt pressing are now the main cottage-industries along with whittlin' likenesses of Grover Cleveland, who was born just up the river.

A gravel-slide that destroyed the saltine factory is surmounted by a cairn constructed of imported pebbles brought to the site by pilgrims after a local trapper had a dream in which he was commanded to build an edifice of stones to commemorate the disaster.

Aleuts have recently built a new seasonal encampment upstream from town.

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Let's take some pebbles up to Sluiceville to build up the cairn a bit. We could get the quilt pressed too if the line isn't too long.

mondo-morto

adj. very deceased. A word created in homage to Gualtiero Jacopetti, the recently deceased Italian director of Mondo Cane, a movie whose title inspired people who largely didn't speak Italian or Latin to create a variety of parodizing phrases, viz; Mondo Druggo, Mondo Tempo etc.

Want to help me bury my dog?

Is he dead?

Of course he's dead! In fact he's mondo-morto.

duck hollow

place. Little appreciated Canadian city with the distinction of producing more top-flight dart flingers and less good hockey players than anywhere else in Alberta; also a good source of shale, lignite coal and third-base men.

Birthplace of warm fusion-an eclectic physics pursuit, and home to the only hindu ashram in the greater Eckville region, Duck Hollow is well situated to sell tires to people coming off the badly maintained Lacombe-Rimbey bypass as well as to siphon tourists away from the Devonian fossil beds and into the Rocky Mountain Rickettsial Diseases Museum recently built on the disused grounds of the sanitorium.

The high school Reach For The Top team was recently second runner-up in the Provincial tournament, taking advantage of some opportune dart-related questions in the final short snappers.
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What's a bullseye worth?

I don't know but I bet those cool kids in Duck Hollow know.