lexicolonologists

n. People who are experts about terminology in a given area but quite anal about specifics of usage.

I think the etymological lexicolonologists would decry the verbal warming on the internet.

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drughale

v. To inhale drugs. Originally used by medical personnel when describing inhalation of therapeutic medicines into the lungs it is now largely used by street drug users to describe consumption of illicit drugs, in large amounts, by any route.

Dude! What up? Did you drughale my whole stash? You are going to get such a stare when your mother gets home.

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Christmas Eve Day

n. Oxymoronicly named period alluding to the daylight hours prior to Christmas Eve. Quite an acceptable coinage despite the objections of some opinionated pedants. An alternate etymology comes from the traditions of the Armenian Orthodox church which speak of the Bethlehem innkeeper's wife, Evangelina, who convinced her husband to allow Mary to give birth in their stable. A feast day in her honour was declared on the day preceding Christmas. Christmas Eve Day, a time for quiet contemplation and fasting, is still celebrated in Asia Minor and much of Central Alberta.

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What are you planning for Christmas Eve Day?

I thought I'd stock up on diet coke and pizza for tomorrow.

Well watch out for the language police!

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olympics

n. Loose assemblage of activities undertaken quadrennially by over-ripped folk with an odd view of life and difficulty prioritising. Small trinkets on coloured ribbons and needlessly ostentatious flower arrangements are commonly given to several of the better entrants as stirring tunes play. Flags and advertising signage tend to be prominently displayed and portly men in suits shuffle about needlessly.

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I couldn't sleep yesterday so I flicked on the olympics and caught some women's arm wrestling; it looked like the 85kg class. I think a Bulgarian won. Then there was rhythmic gymnastics. I swear to God. Rhythmic gymnastics.

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organ donation

n. awesome skateboarding move that results in a near-death experience but is totally rad.

Whoa dude!!! You turned a simple leapstand into a total organ donation. I thought you were going to need a new bladder!

Yeah... I managed to land on my pancreas instead. Listen... can you be a bro and dial 911?

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wagonade

n. any low-priced alcoholic beverage such as beer that is readily available in great quantity for parties. Quality is not important.

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We is gonna party this weekend bro! The revelling shall not stop until past midnight and the floors will be awash in chundered wagonade!

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Alder Flats

place. Gritty town left beside the road on the way to prosperity. Founded in 1892 by independent spirits who were not interested in the progressive ways of the people in Rimbey.

Home of the Fighting Badgers, the tri-province soccer champs three years running (1899,1900 and 1901), and twice voted "Hamlet of the Decade" by a local pamphlet company, Alder Flats is poised to leap into the twentieth century.

I had a dream last night. Alder Flats was a rainbow and Rocky Mountain House was a scorpion chasing its tail. Aerosmith music was playing. There were rocks in the road. A lot of rocks.

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