social walker

n. Person who is willing to walk when it is needed but isn't possessed of a bizarre desire to walk industriously for fitness or weight control.
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Want to do a couple of "Ks" before breakfast?

Ahhh. No thanks. I'll just catch a couple more"Zs". I'm more of a social walker.

25👍 5👎

bog squatter

n. Person possessing no desire to advance at work or in society; needlessly apathetic human encumberance.

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Are you still going out with that bog squatter?

He's not a bog squatter! He's an artist. Why do you hate me?

I was just asking.

25👍 7👎

dietproof

adj. so delicious that it will inevitably be consumed even by people on diets.

.

These panda cheesecake squares are dietproof.

Stand back! I have a bag of dietproof donuts and I'm not afraid to throw them into the cockpit!

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hangfred

n. Radical skateboarding move in which you lean way out sideways and grab the outer edge of a buddy's board while he does the same to your board. Similar to a crab walk but without the hidden sexual tension.

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Nice hangfred Dude!

Sorry?

I saw you doing a hangfred with Andy yesterday. It looked sweet.

Oh right. A hangfred. Thanks.

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Teebowl

n. 1)Wherever the Denver Broncos are going instead of to the league championship game.

2) Any disappointing event attended reluctantly when God doesn't come through.

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Don't cry dear. I'm sure you'll have just as much fun at the Teebowl as you would have had at the State champioships. Maybe next year Jesus will love you and want you for a sunbeam.

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life cache

n. Accumulated worth of your being; value of the knowledge, more than rhe physical wealth, you have acquired during your sojurn on earth.

When I die my life cache will live on and its wonders will enrich generations to come.

Yeah, right. Only if the price of pompousness increases dramatically.

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Cremona

place. Slightly weathered settlement devoid of any big-hamlet pretensions situated in the bouldering belt of Alberta. Locally famous for its Parrot Parade each September and the Alberta Sheep Wranglers Hall of Fame, Cremona seeks to embrace a greater degree of ethnic diversity and has recently twinned with Biggar, Saskatchewan.

Initially settled by Blackfeet indians who were victims of what has been called the European Extinction, Cremona is currently a hotpot of cultural diversity with no tinges of rabid monotheism.

Stone-boat constructionists, root-excavaters, and gravel percolation technicians mingle freely with the artists, artisans and articled accountants of Cremona at the many tables in the cafe.

Ice-hockey amuses the population as does curling, which seems to involve bowling large pieces of granite down a long, frozen, gravel-studded blanket.

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Care to visit Cremona this week to get your bogey on and watch a curling rodeo?

Do I! Let me get my binoculars and a can of diet-coke!

Oh I think they have diet-coke in Cremona now!

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