protestant

n. a person who protests any injustice, usually with a high degree of enthusiasm or zealotry. Originally applied only to people protesting the constraints of the Roman Catholic Church it is now, in a kind of protest, applicable to other causes. The word "protestation" has , of course, never been constrained.
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Look at all those protestants occupying Wall Street! Where are the authorities?

I think their lack of intervention means they're protestants too.

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skatemark

n. laceration, usually deep and on the leg, caused by a skate during a game of hockey; generally considered a mark of honour and not something to whine about.

Look at that cut! I think my achilles tendon is sliced!

Suck it up princess. It's just a skatemark.

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touche bag

n. sack or sports bag purpose-built to carry fencing swords, mask, uniform etc.

Excusez-moi. Has madamoiselle seen my touche bag magnifique?

Mais non! Nor do I wish to see it!

Perhaps madamoiselle understands not. La touche bag is something I slide over my sword to keep it clean.

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Christmas Eve Day

n. Oxymoronicly named period alluding to the daylight hours prior to Christmas Eve. Quite an acceptable coinage despite the objections of some opinionated pedants. An alternate etymology comes from the traditions of the Armenian Orthodox church which speak of the Bethlehem innkeeper's wife, Evangelina, who convinced her husband to allow Mary to give birth in their stable. A feast day in her honour was declared on the day preceding Christmas. Christmas Eve Day, a time for quiet contemplation and fasting, is still celebrated in Asia Minor and much of Central Alberta.

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What are you planning for Christmas Eve Day?

I thought I'd stock up on diet coke and pizza for tomorrow.

Well watch out for the language police!

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olympics

n. Loose assemblage of activities undertaken quadrennially by over-ripped folk with an odd view of life and difficulty prioritising. Small trinkets on coloured ribbons and needlessly ostentatious flower arrangements are commonly given to several of the better entrants as stirring tunes play. Flags and advertising signage tend to be prominently displayed and portly men in suits shuffle about needlessly.

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I couldn't sleep yesterday so I flicked on the olympics and caught some women's arm wrestling; it looked like the 85kg class. I think a Bulgarian won. Then there was rhythmic gymnastics. I swear to God. Rhythmic gymnastics.

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organ donation

n. awesome skateboarding move that results in a near-death experience but is totally rad.

Whoa dude!!! You turned a simple leapstand into a total organ donation. I thought you were going to need a new bladder!

Yeah... I managed to land on my pancreas instead. Listen... can you be a bro and dial 911?

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misstranslation

n. The politically incorrect result of translating technical or mathematical terminology into something women can understand. A misstranslation is usually devoid of numbers and greek letters and may deal with how force vectors "feel" about each other. Use of the term around women is usually followed by a good purse-smacking.

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So why are pie squared? I don't get it.

Sorry, I didn't see your breasts. Let me give you the misstranslation. Pretend you have a large round blanket and four babies that need to be covered.

Ohhh. Babies! What are their names?

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