dormer

n. College attendee who decides to spend the semester enjoying dorm life instead of attending classes

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Being a dormer for four years actually prepared me well for most jobs:; perhaps not neurosurgery.

ovarianed

adj. Having ovaries:; being female..Often used in a perjorative sense by the testiculated folk.

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"The Testaments", Margaret Atwood's tale of dystopian feminine sexuality in a utopian world is widely misinterpreted by the ovarianed people.

Can you even read?

greening

v. Being a caring steward of the planet, a lover of unspoiled terrain, a freaking hippie.

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Where’s Jerome? Greening over at the pipeline protest? I just detailed his hummer and I needs my money.

changing of the guard

v. British term employed by aged royals when replacing their soiled Depends undergarments.

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I say old chap. Must one stand to attention when watching the changing of the guard?

Only if the Queen or the Princess Royal is involved.

changing of the guard

v. Upper class British term for applying a fresh condom.

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I say. Last night at the orgy Andrew yelled that it was time for a changing of the guard. I thought it a wee bit tacky.

The command was tacky, or the condom?

Changing of the Guard

n. Royal ceremony in which an aging monarch’s incontinence panties are replaced.

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Care to watch the Changing of the Guard on the telly?

No. You really have to see it live to sense the majesty of the event.

taking the sixth

v. Avoiding self-incrimination by hiding behind a more powerful-sounding, but non-existent, constitutional amendment.

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They will not get my corpulent corpse! I am taking the sixth then seeking asylum in North Korea.

There is no sixth Mr. President.

Fake News!