Andrew

Never hits legs at the gym, but let’s be honest, does he ever hit the gym? Gets voted in high school “Most Likely to Cheat On His Girlfriend with an Extraterrestrial-Looking Girl” Makes thirst traps for his 99’ Honda Accord which means he must obviously be compensating for something, if you know what I mean. But the second be breaks up with Alien Girl, he comes running back to the baddie he had, adding all of her friends to try and find some way to communicate with her. Will throw food at fat people while driving by them, screaming racial slurs and stuff that not even Diddy himself would say.

If your man uses his hair to hide his big old forehead, then his name is probably Andrew.