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Waning Mullet

a man’s hairstyle that is bald on the top but with long stringy hair hanging over the collar in the back (elderhostel up front, party in the back)

This is a modification of the 80’s mullet. It is worn by the diehard that refuses to give up the long hair that he sported back in high school.

Bob: Did you see Jim Rickards on Fox Business talking about the demise of the US Dollar?
Dave: Is that the guy with the waning mullet?
Bob: Yeah, that’s him.

by goose_on_a_roof December 31, 2020


Squeeze Burger

An adorably cute dog (cat, person, etc.) that you have an irresistible urge to snuggle.

"Come here girl! Come on! That's it! Who's a good doggie? You are. Oh yes you are. You are so cute, you little squeeze burger."

by goose_on_a_roof October 28, 2020


Jiffy Wiz

A period of time. It is derived from the computer term jiffy, which is a clock (computer) dependent interval of time. It is so short that hundreds of thousand could pass and a human couldn’t even sense it. From the human perspective, with any passage of time the jiffies would just wiz by, hence the term “jiffy wiz”.

Usage:
"I gotta squat for a jiffy wiz in The Gran Manzana and I've been head sparkin’ ‘bout pounding that Coney fillet in a twee fire-in-the-hole.
The dewclaws are up. Ya wanna draft my flivver?
Bang the pipes by 5:00 or hold peace.”

Translation:
"I’ve got a layover in New York City and was thinking about getting a hotdog in a quaint restaurant.
I’m enthusiastic. Do you want to come along?
Call me by 5:00 or it will be too late."

by goose_on_a_roof October 09, 2020


pounding

To eat or drink (Often times this denotes eating/drinking fast but this is not always the case.)

Usage:
"I gotta squat for a jiffy wiz in The Gran Manzana and I've been head sparkin’ ‘bout pounding that Coney fillet in a twee fire-in-the-hole.
The dewclaws are up. Ya wanna draft my flivver?
Bang the pipes by 5:00 or hold peace.”

Translation:
"I’ve got a layover in New York City and was thinking about getting a hotdog in a quaint restaurant.
I’m enthusiastic. Do you want to come along?
Call me by 5:00 or it will be too late."

by goose_on_a_roof October 16, 2020


the beans are talkin’

an admittance of flatulence

Husband: Did you…? Oh my gosh!
Wife: (embarrassed) Yeah, the beans are talkin’.
Husband: Well, you could have...
Wife: (indignant) I DID, but YOU just had to have curry. Actions have consequences.

by goose_on_a_roof October 18, 2020


flatusidal tendencies

a disorder whereby a person has recurring thoughts about breaking wind in crowded and, often times, confined places (This is a dangerous situation in which the person in question is on the verge of becoming a sphincter Sinatra if he/she does not receive professional help or, at the very least, a bitch slap by his/her friends.)

Paratrooper: Sarge, I know it’s not the time but I keep thinking about plantin’ some onion.
Jumpmaster: GOT DAMN IT!!! Ya better at-ease those flatusidal tendencies or I’ll toss your goat-smellin’ ass off this bird right now, green light or not.

by goose_on_a_roof October 16, 2020


Sleek

When a person is not carrying a weapon.

Even though Elvis was surrounded with bodyguards he would carry numerous pistols at a time, but what about when he was performing? He wore those form-fitting jumpsuits and made such grand stage movements. Was he packin’ or did he go sleek?

by goose_on_a_roof March 24, 2018