A way to calculate how long it takes food to digest by eating corn and then checking your poop.
According to my corn clock, it takes 7 hours before I poop out what I eat.
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Taking a dump in someone else's toilet and intentionally not flushing.
Honey, have you met the new neighbors yet? Yep, they invited me over and I left them a burbalang!
This is a useful trick in case you are ever abducted by rednecks. Ask them for a piece of paper and pencil. Write the word racecar and ask them to spell it backwards. Their little pea brains will start to smoke and they will start bashing their own heads in until they are unconscious.
Women's self-defense instructor:"When I was 14 I was abducted by a pack of rednecks. I was able to escape by using the dyslexic redneck mindfuck"
What a redneck calls Darth Vader due to his/her limited vocabulary.
On "Valantimes" day, Bobby Earl come over and fixed my "chimley". Then we snorted sum "oxycottons" and watched that movie with "Dark Vader". I think it's called "Star Track"
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