Rural Dictionary

sex

1) noun, verb: 99% of all sex is basically something pornstars do so that other people can masturbate. The other one percent of what happens in private is describes below, without going into all the messy details, the guy has this thing below his belly commonly known as a dick. The aim of sex is to shove the dick between a woman's legs known as a pussy. 99% of all the activities of men are directed towards finding an acceptable pussy. This is true for 99% of the women too, but they'd rather eat horseshit than admit it. This results in something hideos being born, known as babies, unless the guy protects himself by wearing condoms. Sometimes the guy shoves his dick into other suitable body orifices of the girl, like the asshole, the mouth and the urethra. Sex also occors when the guy eats the cunt or anus of the girl. Sex usually does not occor when the couple is only locking lips.
Sometimes, when two guys get really horny and/or drunk, one of them shoves their dick up the other's ass. Or they yank each other's cocks, or blow each other. You should get the idea.
Sometimes, two girls get really emotional and wail about how good guys are impossible to find, and THEN end up getting drunk and horny. But since girls are not endowed with dicks, the best they can do is lick each other's cunts or shove fingers up each other's pussies or assholes or both.
They also kiss, but this has become too common to be considered a remotely sexual act. All of this, unbelievably, somehow manages to get guys more horny.
Sometimes one really lucky guy manages to get two girls drunk and horny, or finds two girls as above, and manages to have both of them crawling all over his body. In this case, the guy is too excited, confused, and exhilerated, and the two girls are too drunk, to actually know what gets shoved up where. this is known as a threesome.
Sometimes two guys and a girl come together. In this case, one guy shoves his dick up the girls pussy/asshole/mouth and the other guy shoves his dick up the first guys asshole. The guy in the middle is known as Lucky Pierre, whih is pretty ironic as the guy above is normally considered to be more lucky. This is also known as a threesome.
Sometimes a bunch of friends get together and get horny and drunk. In this case, all of them end up in one big group, with various body orifices in contact with various other body orifices and cocks. This is known as group sex when both the genders are equally represented. There is also a unisec orgy, where one girl has a number of dicks in her cunt, mouth and asshole. Also, the guys participating in putting their dicks in some suitable and underoccupied body orifice, may or may not indulge by kissing one another.
The one boy an many girls things never happens anywhere out of the middle east, where the harem is having sex with the male in whatever way is possible through all the clothes.
And in some exteremely perverted cases, people get drunk and horny, and are too bored to use their hands, need a little variety and therefore will shove their dicks into the orifices of, or allow their orifices to be penetrated by the dicks of dogs, cats and horses. Sometimes, both guys and girls get blown by goats, tapirs, cows, crows, parrots and dead fish. These creatures are enticed into doing this by sprinkling a suitable foodgrain over the body part that requires to be stimulated. These guys are really sick in the head, but not as sick as people who indulge in sibling sex, child sex, and family orgies.
See, I told you I wouldn't go into the messy details.
2) gender

1) And I am a fucking virgin.
2) Sex? ______ (in a form)

by gunkglumb June 10, 2005

138👍 91👎

Carthage

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