Basic White Boy

A Vineyardvine, Patagonia obsessed athlete, Christian boy who seems like he's nice but is actually a huge bitch and only owns things over $150 because his parents earn money from white privilege. He also secretly does drugs and has a girlfriend while claiming to be "god's follower' and talks in an abnormally high voice despite the fact he is officially a teenager but doesn't choose to follow the specific guidelines for trying to get through his "awkward phase". He also runs his hands every single fucking minute through his gelled-filled hair that somehow smells like fruit despite the fact he claims he only uses non sceneted hair products. And who can forget the fact that his social media contains at least 15 pics of him with a red cap, saying D1 in every photo, trying to act black but ends up looking like a divorced elderly man trying to flirt with college aged ladies at a strip club AND TO TOP IT ALL OF A FUCKING DOG FILTER. AND they're only interested in basic white ass girls who, for some reason, know every little detail about the Pink product and can tell when her Starbucks drink is either decaf or whatever the other thing is with a blindfold on.

Ashley(basic bitch smh): OMG CHRISTOPHER (basic bitch smh) IS SO CUTE
Me: Yeah, honey, stop being dumb you're infatuated with him cause he's posting a pic of Starbucks right now. He's a basic white Boy, BYE!

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