Horseradish Mustache

1) When one drinks a Bloody Mary too quickly, causing the horseradish to stick to one's upper lip, creating a mustache.

2) The residue or anal hair on one's upper lip resulting from performing oral sex on one's woman from the rear.

eg 1) "Hey Mike, them boys are drinkin' your Bloody Marys so quickly they gots them some horseradish mustaches! Yee haw!"

eg 2) "Dude, had a terrible night last night. Christina sat on my face and made me go down on her. Ended up with a horseradish mustache."

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Parachute

The male masturbation technique of carefully selecting three of the softest tissues, stacking them on on top of the other, and inserting them over the head of one's penis at climax.

The added space between the head and the tissues creates a parachute-like shape, which is crucial so as to catch the cum without sticking.

This method was developed by an extremely talented young man, and is very convenient - one can simply wipe, throw away the tissues, making clean-up a non-issue.

Bro: Yo, my mom needed to buy a new carpet because I jerk off so much onto it. It was most embarrassing.

Other Bro: Dude, just buy some tissues use a parachute!

Bro: Man, you're so smart, I wish other people knew this trick!

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Chatroulette Manager

Sometimes it's just too difficult to devote all of one's attention to Chatroulette.

Therefore, a friend or other lame individual will launch Chatroulette, focus the webcam on his group of bros, and keep pressing "Next" through the amalgam of dicks, until he finally comes across a female. This "Manager" will then alert his bros immediately.

Chatroulette Manager: "Guys I got one! Oh shit, it just turned into a little fat kid."

Avi: "Any luck, Chatroulette Manager?"
Manager: "Nope, we're at 50:1 Man to Woman ratios."

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Hypotenate

To use another person as a ramp.

One may hypotenate by walking, biking or skiing down another person.

One may also hypotenate UP a person, depending on the situation.

“Man, I was boarding on a trick path, and right as I got to the end of the rail, hypotenated right over Peter. It was awesome. I think he was unconscious, though.”

“Mommy! This morning that kid in the wheelchair just pushed this tall kid down the steps and hypotenated right over him. Can I get a wheelchair for my birthday?”

Announcer: “FOR THIS DIRT BIKE SHOW, BIKER BOB WILL NOT JUMP OVER 100 PEOPLE, HE WILL HYPOTENATE OVER A STRING OF THEM!”

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YMCA

Yogis, gymnasts, or those looking for a rush will delight in the challenges of this invigorating sexual position.

Based on a classic yoga move called the Headstand, or Shirshasana, this pose has as many health benefits as it does pleasurable ones; as you invert the body, you breathe deeper, improve circulation, and relieve stress on the lower back.

The inverting partner will kneel and place the top of their head on a small floor cushion between the seated partner’s thighs. Next, straighten the knees, raise the hips, and keep the abs flexed. The seated partner can now assist the other in entering the final pose and arrange themselves accordingly.

When first entering this position, mild breathing difficulties may be experienced as the blood from the body rushes to the head; this should quickly pass, but if you're feeling uncomfortable, come out of the position and rest in a prone position to normalize circulation before standing up again.

Dude, me and Jane did the YMCA last night. Ballerinas are awesome.

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airport vultures

The people that wait for flights on standby, hoping to pay cheap "standby fares."

They diligently scavenge on the misfortunes of others, hoping till the last minute that the poor, paying passengers miss their flight.

We made our flight just in the nick of time. Those nutcases waiting for standby couldn't believe what hit em. Suck it, airport vultures!

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Intersextion

The Intersextion position (previously known as Sleeping Beauty) is a complicated sex position that differs from the Scissors position because the giver's legs are both between the legs of the receiver.

This allows for an unusual angle for penetration, but it comes at the partial expense of comfort. Many people don't like this position because they find it awkward to position their legs without causing the receiving partner's bottom leg irritation or pain, but it does have a solid following amongst those who can find the sweet spot.

Most accidents happen at the intersextion, so make sure you get in to the right lane, unless you want to get rear-ended!!

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