catshit and apple butter

An interjection indicating exasperation.

Catshit and apple butter, I just got put in charge of the United Way campaign again this year.

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serious emotional trauma

While physical trauma heals, serious emotional trauma leaves permanent psychological scars.

Getting my foreskin caught in my trouser zipper at age 5 was bad enough, but what gave me serious emotional trauma was when my mother had to unzip it.

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acreage

Another sign of old age.

Aunt Gertie complained of roomatiz and acreage in her joints.

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pitching a tent

See Omar-the-tent-maker.

Reverend Leroy wished he'd worn his vestment as he popped a Woodrow and began pitching a tent while he preached a sermon on the evils of homosexuality to the assembled congregation.

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nofukinway

A negative response said with some finality.

Q. Hey Chief, I know we haven't always seen eye-to-eye, we have philosophical differences in our approach to Naval leadership....I even puked on your shoes once on the quarterdeck....but would you sign my request chit to go to the United States Naval Academy? A. Nofukinway, Seaman Apprentice Ferndock.

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peeatter

n. Bass-Pro bedecked fisherman's term for his penis.

"Bubba, come heah quick an brang the wahr cutters..I done got this treble hook caught up in my peeatter when I wuz castin'"

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Toadly-Wan-Kanobi

A high priest of toadliness, one who lives and practices the art of toadliness to a very high level, striving for toad nirvana. Can usually be spotted in public as the one alternately picking his nose and deeply scratching his ass with the same hand.

Yo! Toadly-Wan-Kanobi, try to keep your fingers out of the cheese dip.

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