porn again

porn again: 1. Religious people who backslide into horny habits. e.g., Jimmy Swaggart, Jim Bakker.
2. What Tea Leoni says to David Duchovny every night, afternoon, hour, whatever.

Ex: Cheri: Hey!! Turn that crap off! You know we go to church now! I thought you were over porn.
Roderick: Honey, I’m not born again, I’m porn again.
Cheri: Not funny!! Take your hand out of your pants!

Ex: Tiffany: Debbie, lookit this! Another porn again preacher on the tele! He impregnated his church secretary.
Debbie: Is it Jessica Hahn? What happened to her? She’s so eighties.

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garlicked

Garlicked – the aftertaste of garlic that haunts you and could be deadly to your friendships.

"I just had kashi's pasta primavera but man, I'm garlicked! You got any gum?"

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enfartment

enfartment: this occurs when one is in the shower and surprise farts. within seconds, the steam arises and the stench engulfs the nostrils, making it difficult to escape.

miley cyrus (shaving her legs): uh oh. (a squeezed sound erupts) i'm so SORRY, dad!
billy ray cyrus (shampooing his hair w/ squinted eyes): oh, no! enfartment! you're sleeping alone tonight!

3👍 1👎

breast pump

breast pump – (also known as the BP) when a man squeezes his wife or significant other's breast. This usually occurs in the comfort of one's home and can occur as often as the squeezer likes and can lead to foreplay or home runs.

After just getting boobie squeezed, wife says, "Honey! I'm carrying the laundry, you know."
"Woman! You know I gots to get my daily dose of the breast pump! BP, holla!"

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opportutitty

opportutitty: when a woman has the chance to use her boobs to her advantage.

betty to darla: bend down and pick up your napkin in front of roy w/
your jugs in view. this is your opportutitty!

rhonda to minerva: help me ducktape my tits, this is my opportutitty
to impress kirk. maybe he'll ask me to PROM!

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carbosaur

Carbosaurs – People who overeat carbohydrates. They are usually vegetarians or anyone lingering at the snack machine.

Dinah to Sauron: “Wipe those crumbs from your mouf, you Carbosaur!”
Sauron to Dinah: “Who was attacking the Cheetos and wouldn’t share earlier?! You’re the real Carbosaur, licking your fingers and all.”

Lynne: “Look at my food journal! Sheesh, I’m a Carbosaur!”
Jonas: “Yea, you monster! Raawwrrr!”

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poo peat

poo peat - when you poo multiple times throughout a 24-hour day.

liz lemon: ugh. another poo peat.
kenneth: wow, miss lemon, you're a poo peater today. that's twice w/i the hour. that reminds me of my late and great grandpa and his colon cleanses. he used to mix those with jack daniels and called it milk tea. egads! tell me you didn't eat those brownies from mr. jordan!
liz lemon: oh shi*! (she scurries to the bathroom).

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