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Redbank Breathilizer

If you are giving your best friend or relative a blow job then you are to drunk to drive.

I told mom that the Redbank Breathilizer proved that she was to drunk to drive home. And now we have no money to pay for mom's funeral after paying for cousin Benny's penis re-attachment surgery.

by hiemlich schlonge February 22, 2010

20πŸ‘ 1πŸ‘Ž


Black Stallion Donkey Punch

This is a variation of the Danny Glover and the Donkey Punch. The man must get his member good and dirty with feces while anally plugging his partner. He must pull out and whip her ass with his shit covered cock. This makes her ass black like a black horse and you have now whipped her like a race horse jockey would. After her buttocks are good and black the man re-inserts his member into anus. When he is close to climax he pulls the ole Donkey Punch by punching her in the back of the head.

Ben knew he was never going to see that fat assed volleyball player again after last night so he wanted to have some shits and giggles so he Black Stallion Donkey Punch her yankee bitch ass.

by hiemlich schlonge February 20, 2010

9πŸ‘ 10πŸ‘Ž


Redbank Rimjob

Licking the anus of a person whose hemorrhoids are bleeding.

Robbie had read about how much sexual stimulation that a woman can receive from having her anus licked and could not wait to try it on his 8 month pregnant wife Susan. When he got home from setting up the double-wide out in Swansea he found his wife bent over the bathtub giving little Susie a bath so he dropped to his knees and began to lick her where the sun don't shine. But her hemorrhoids were hanging out and bleeding from driving the big rig all day so it ended up being a Redbank Rimjob.

by hiemlich schlonge February 25, 2010

17πŸ‘ 1πŸ‘Ž


Gaston Dart Game

This is a sexual act decision making device. Obviously you need a dartboard and darts. But you also need small pieces of paper with your favorite sexaul acts on it. The pieces of paper will be attached to the dartboard and your partner will throw a dart at the board to decide which sexaul act will be performed that evening. This also can be used for an entire weekend of fun or at an orgy.

Rebecca could not decide what she wanted Sean to do to her the Saturday before she married Tom so they played the Gaston Dart Game. Before the sun went down she had been hot carled, Cleveland Steamered, Strawberry Shortcaked, Tonya Danzad, Donkey Punched, and don the Alligator Fuckhouse 3 times. She had scares that make-up wouldn't hide and her vagania was bleeding profusely, but at least the concusion would make her forget Sean before she said "I Do" to Tom.

by hiemlich schlonge March 9, 2010

14πŸ‘ 1πŸ‘Ž


Popping a Parrot

The act of placing one's limp penis on the shoulder of an unsuspecting friend and saying "Polly wants a Cracker. another term for Mississippi Caterpillar. This can also be considered a clean way to do a Mississippi Mowhawk if the penis is placed up the unsucpecting person's head in the shape of a mohawk. I understand that Jimmy Buffet fans call this a Parrot Head gone wrong.

It was all fun and games until someone posted a video of Ryan Popping a Parrot on all the football players in the locker room before the game.

by hiemlich schlonge February 18, 2010

17πŸ‘ 3πŸ‘Ž


A Don King

A version of Mississippi Mohawk using a Zebra Turd. A Mississippi Mohawk is Cleveland Steamer on someone's head. A Zebra Turd is a turd after your partner has jizzed in your anus.

Janice was tired of Barry cuming in her ass when she was prarie dogging so when he drank his 10 Natty Lights and passed out she dropped A Don King on his head.

by hiemlich schlonge February 22, 2010

7πŸ‘ 2πŸ‘Ž


Griffed

To have someone who once held a positition of high regard lie to your face and you believe it.

Adam was listing all the things Michael had done in his life and it was obvious he had been Griffed.

by hiemlich schlonge February 22, 2010

8πŸ‘ 3πŸ‘Ž