Elvis country

The part of the country where Elvis comes from. These territories are known for neocons, white supremacist capitalist patriarchy, and family values and a lack of a progressive economy where the new jobs created are at Walmart, thus making people dependent on religion and alcohol to explain their personal failures. Also known as fly over state, red state, or Dumbfuckistan. Generally where neckbeards and republicans live, and squirrel hunting is a primary source of dinner for most people who can't afford to feed their family, but must live within their means. Akin to death for people who have lived in more progressive areas.

The feds put Sammy in witness protection and sent him to live in Elvis country. He used to be the king of New York, now they got him stocking shelves in Walmart.

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Chinkie

A dated pejorative slang term denoting Chinese origin. The term has largely been forgotten by political correctness and awareness of global peoples, but has resurfaced to describe consumer items and articles manufactured in China. These items are of poor or inferior quality or considered to be disposable - particularly when those items replaced higher quality items or ones with greater expectation of longevity. History shows that manufacture of these items may employ practices banned in or deemed hazardous by other nations, for example, adding melamine, an adulterant which may be poisonous to certain individuals or in certain concentrations, in order to fraudulently increase the protein levels of foods, or painting toys with lead-based paint.

These items are imported to the detriment of domestic workers and domestically produced items. Retailers and corporations counter that domestically produced materials would be significantly more expensive and that consumers would be unwilling to pay the cost differential, thereby harming their profit margins.

I wish I could go to the store and buy goods that aren't Chinkie garbage.

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corporo-political jackassery

The shenanigans that corporations play with disingenuous politicians, which place them in a higher position than the politician's individual constituents. These shenanigans may include contributions, lobbying, influence peddling, manipulation of regulatory environments, strong-arming, or other techniques, not unlike those of organized crime, but legitimized by a corporate presence, employed to create a favorable environment for the corporation and its shareholders mostly to the detriment of the individual constituents within the district served and the corporation's stakeholders. Often corporo-political jackassery exploits weak-minded people who respond to buzzwords and grossly oversimplified skeletal concepts they don't understand with militant activism in defense of the buzzword, despite the obvious detriment to the individual; i.e., "Obamacare."

A number of protections were enacted following the Great Depression to prevent our economy from tanking, however thanks to decades of corporo-political jackassery, most were deregulated and Wall Street was alloiwed to police itself. The end product left the U.S. with massive foreclosures, layoffs, and an exodus of industry which further eroded the middle class.

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glacial

The speed at which all logical legislation and rulemaking occur. Speed which equates to the glaciers' advancement and receession in the last ice age.

The state legislature reacted to the need for funding the lifesaving project with glacial speed.

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phases of elvis

The stages that legendary performer Elvis Presley has gone through.

1) Young Elvis
2) Fat Elvis
3) Dead and Rotting Elvis

Ed, Rick, and Rich went to the Halloween party as the phases of Elvis. Rick was young Elvis, Rich was fat Elvis, and Ed was dead and rotting Elvis.

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pundit

A person who claims to be an expert and markets him or herself as such, but has no discernable income or prior background being a practitioner in the subject matter they purport to represent. These individuals are usually offered talking points and a buried stipend (read: paid off) by a special interest group, such as a political party or industry lobby then go on to blog or make media appearances promoting their point of view to the detriment of people who are real-life practitioners and subject matter experts.

Andy is a pundit on technology issues but doesn't seem to have any real-world experience doing the things he promotes. Through some digging we can discover he is actually an industry shill.

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Primary

Verb. Usually as "to primary." To propose a challenger candidate against an incumbent politician during the primary and then do everything you can to insure the neophyte challenger is victorious over the incumbent. Thus, the incumbent becomes a regular citizen again and is free to pursue the rest of his or her political ambitions overtly bought out as a lobbyist or Washington attorney. This is the tool of last resort when a politician no longer represents the interests of his or her constituency, but of a special interest or heavy-hitting contributor that overshadows the will of the people back home.

I promise to primary any politician who votes against Social Security, Medicare, or Veterans' Benefits.

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