Florida

The 27th state admitted to the United States. Florida is a haven for predatory scammers, prostitutes, white trash, businesses predicated on dismal customer service, and people fleeing something (bad marriage, debtor's prison, organized crime, etc.). The economy of Florida is based on attracting outside people oblivious of these realities or well-to-do GLBT individuals to see post-teen so-called "performers" dressed in anthropomorphic costumes, relive the fantasy childhood they never had, and to visit nearly-abandoned beachfront communities (see: economic collapse). The state appears to be split into three distinct areas: South Florida, a largely Hispanic and New York polyglot; Central Florida, a region with no discernable product or industry where people who cannot afford South Florida live; and the Panhandle, which is more like Southern Alabama. These factors are offset by beautiful weather, exotic flora and fauna, and scantily clad women (see: prostitutes and white trash). Much of the former aerospace program existed in Florida.

Sammy: "Yo, I'm moving to Florida!"
Tony: "Who you running away from?"

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bluewire

To extensively modify an electronic device to perform something it was not originally designed to do, usually using blue wire-wrap wire and external components that were not an original part of the equipment being modified. The result is often overtly ugly and has the appearance of being an afterthought.

The need to bluewire a solution is usually in response to a salesperson providing a marginally-performing, lower-cost item for a specific purpose it was not intended to perform, but marking up the cost to a par with a higher-cost item so that a sales margin could be met.

The transmitter did not work as the customer expeced, so the service technician had to bluewire it so it could do what was needed.

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wireless tree

A wireless cellular or data tower camouflaged to look like a tree. Such is made under the assumption that an obviously fake 250 foot steel and fiberglass tree with a strobe on top of it is less objectionable within a community than a tower.

The town council meeting was loaded with soccer moms who were outraged at both their shitty cellular service and the company's plan to put in a tower to fix the service. They all went away happy when the company said they'd install a wireless tree instead.

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corporo-political jackassery

The shenanigans that corporations play with disingenuous politicians, which place them in a higher position than the politician's individual constituents. These shenanigans may include contributions, lobbying, influence peddling, manipulation of regulatory environments, strong-arming, or other techniques, not unlike those of organized crime, but legitimized by a corporate presence, employed to create a favorable environment for the corporation and its shareholders mostly to the detriment of the individual constituents within the district served and the corporation's stakeholders. Often corporo-political jackassery exploits weak-minded people who respond to buzzwords and grossly oversimplified skeletal concepts they don't understand with militant activism in defense of the buzzword, despite the obvious detriment to the individual; i.e., "Obamacare."

A number of protections were enacted following the Great Depression to prevent our economy from tanking, however thanks to decades of corporo-political jackassery, most were deregulated and Wall Street was alloiwed to police itself. The end product left the U.S. with massive foreclosures, layoffs, and an exodus of industry which further eroded the middle class.

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glacial

The speed at which all logical legislation and rulemaking occur. Speed which equates to the glaciers' advancement and receession in the last ice age.

The state legislature reacted to the need for funding the lifesaving project with glacial speed.

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phases of elvis

The stages that legendary performer Elvis Presley has gone through.

1) Young Elvis
2) Fat Elvis
3) Dead and Rotting Elvis

Ed, Rick, and Rich went to the Halloween party as the phases of Elvis. Rick was young Elvis, Rich was fat Elvis, and Ed was dead and rotting Elvis.

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pundit

A person who claims to be an expert and markets him or herself as such, but has no discernable income or prior background being a practitioner in the subject matter they purport to represent. These individuals are usually offered talking points and a buried stipend (read: paid off) by a special interest group, such as a political party or industry lobby then go on to blog or make media appearances promoting their point of view to the detriment of people who are real-life practitioners and subject matter experts.

Andy is a pundit on technology issues but doesn't seem to have any real-world experience doing the things he promotes. Through some digging we can discover he is actually an industry shill.

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