Kelly Johnson

Clarence "Kelly" Johnson.
Legendary Chief Research Engineer at Lockheed. This guy designed the p-38, the Connie, the f-80, the f-104, the U-2, the Blackbird.
Serious kick-ass genius this Kelly Johnson, not like the cocksucking Kelly Johnsosn bitches in this page...

These bitches dont deserve to be called Kelly Johnson

60👍 12👎

knockers

See tits, hooters, bazookas, bazongas... same thing.
Knockers have to be kinda big to deserve being called that.
Lil titties are better addressed as mosquito bites or zits

Like electric toy trains, knockers were originally designed for kids, but are mostly enjoyed by grownups.

1521👍 393👎

schlong

A schlong is just another dork, wang or johnson.
It ain't particularly large; the impression it is so is cleverly conveyed by the *long* bit that sticks out of its rear end.

Laura: HAHAHAHAHA! Its so funny that schlong sounds large becuz it has something long stuck in!
Mike: Shut up bitch and spread those cheeks.

289👍 276👎

cosmic fart

A fart so deadly it causes the extinction of most life forms in the planet.
This is the latest fringe theory explaining the demise of dinosaurs.
It was brought to light due to the discovery of previously undetected concentrations of fossil dingleberries in late Cretacic strata.

Scientists are afraid of finding the Cosmic Fart's *smoking gun*

98👍 8👎

Sexual harassment

A means of using your gender as a female to get money from rich and powerful males.

Bill Riley asked me how I was doing today, so I sued him for 9 large for sexual harassment !!! Pretty sweet huh?

11👍 17👎

Patroclus

Achilles' boyfriend
It shouldn't be surmised from the above phrase that Achilles was gay, because he was also banging Brisseis.
In any case he was bi.

Ajax: Achilles, Hector wasted your boyfriend Patroclus, who was wearing your armor and a red garter belt. Now Hector has both your armor and the garter belt.
Achilles: What?? I told him countless times that only black garter belts are worn with armor!
Im gonna beat the shit outta that Hector dude as soon as I finish banging Brisseis.

107👍 39👎

rusty blumpkin

The act of receiving a rim job while concurrently taking a dump and receiving a handjob.

Man I got this rusty blumpkin last night, aboslutely filled this chicks mouth with crap.

13👍 45👎