nootan

They call him the Chick Magnet, because every "chick" he meets is OBSESSED with him. When he walks into a room, all the ladies bow at his feet, and all the lads are so jealous because he stole their girls. An international man of mystery, Nootan didn't graduate from detective school and has turned to a life of darkness. He is involved in some shady stuff, man. In his free time, Nootan enjoys rejecting anime girls who make their MOVES on him.
He is a quirky, dark and twisty poet, who competes in nose shows in his free time, but he has a secret. He actually hates poetry, because he is a robot, and would rather turn to a life of crime and blackmail. But despite all this, he is still A LADIES MAN and FLATTERS THE WOMEN he meets. Legend says that he's had over 300 GIRLFRIENDS and 2000 people have FALLEN for him but he only accepts the FINEST.
Family life: Literally nobody knows. He's a secretive man. Has a brother (allegedly- could be his partner in crime) who lives on a goat farm with a much older lady.
Person 1: Omg have you heard of Nootan and his super awesome goat farmer brother
Person 2: No please impart your wisdom
Person 1: He is soooooo cool
Person 2: He sounds Dreamy! We should pursue him

You can use it as a magic spell: Nootan loves smoochan all the wooman.

caitlyn

caitlyn is a known weeb who absolutely loves all things japanese! she is the #1 anime consumer in the world and owns several anime wrapped vehicles. her husbando is regen but they have a loveless marriage. caitlyn fantasizes about a japanese man she can finally show her katanas to. she orders vegetarian tendies to eat every day and moderates the r/goodanimemes subreddit with over 1,000,000 karma. she also has a very special junior who is the president of the anime club. she just wants her senpai to notice her nya~ x3 but he loves a goth girl T_T but one day senpai will be hers *hides le bloody knife behind her back* omg... O_o u weren't supposed to see dat... heheheheh

"wow that girl is such a weeb." "dude, girls can't be weebs. she's a caitlyn."