Mike

This specimen is the hottest guy you will ever meet. In his own words, he can pick up any chick he wants. He has a jawline that can cut paper. He drives only the coolest of cars (it's worth $50,000 bro!!). He's in only the coolest of fraternities (not Sigma Chi cause that's gei). This mans can chuck only the fattest of clouds. Many consider him to be the grand master wizard of the Vape Nation. The sexy a$$, confident frat boy is all you need to fulfill your dreams (unless, of course, you are not trying to be in an abusive relationship). He will buy you anything you want (cause his dad is rich (and oh yeah, he is worth $2.7 million)). He is very mindful of personal boundaries and will respect woman cause that is what he is good at. (PS - sucks toes if you ask)

Matt: "Dude, maybe she wasn't into you."

Mike: "That's not possible. I literally did nothing wrong! I was the perfect boyfriend. Like, I am so sexy and rich and smart. I literally could get any girl I want. But I chose Her. She should be fucking greatful"

Matt: "Yeah man. You are so right. I don't know what I was thinking. You are the greatest person I have ever met and I am so glad to be able to know a man that is caring as you are."

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