metal

Hilairously over the top music genre that thinks playing very fast will somehow make quality music. Fans are often very defensive when it comes to this, and will often tell critics to listen to "some REAL metal." This "REAL metal" is in fact some obscure band that has a name like BONES OF DEATH or ETERNAL DYING and sounds like everything else out there.

How to make a metal song:
1) Fast guitars that are heavy on the distortion (unless it's "the slow song")
2) Pounding drums with unncessairly complicated fills
3) Stupid screaming/growling vocals that don't make any sense
4) A stupid title that usually relates to something graphic or violent. Only serves to highlight the fact that the bans is made up of long haired 40-somethings who are acting like they are 12 years old.

Person A: Wow, this whole metal thing sure is a crappy music genre!

Person B: You ignorant cretin, here is some REAL METAL!

Person A:...no, it's still crappy. And for gods sake, have a shower and cut your hair.

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