Professor

1. Someone who secretly thinks he is dumb, and dedicates his life to making other people, usually impressionable young women, think he is smart using financial coercion and ultimatums.

2. What the soviets called "useful idiots", unwitting agents of the bolshevik agenda.

Typical College Girl: Professor, can you tell me what's going to be on the test?

Professor Castrato: Maybe if you visit me during my office hours I'll tell you.

...

Typical College Girl: Okay, I came to your office. Now will you tell me what's on the test?

Professor Castrato: Ya know, why don't you and I hang out more often? Do you want to go get a beer or something?

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Teacher

A state employee who, as such, doesn't know what real work is and complains about getting paid $40,000-$110,000 with a pension to work part time for 8 months of the year.

Teacher: Teachers don't get paid enough. We need more money or your kids will all end up garbage men

Tax payer: You get paid more than my wife and I combined to "grade papers" and drink coffee from 8 AM to 1:30 PM with a 2 hour lunch, last year they raised our property taxes to build an addition to the teacher's lounge, and every day my kids come home dumber

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