sloppy deer

When you are banging the ex of a friend, as you do, and said friend walks in on you two going at it, with the intention of making things right with their ex, and as soon as they make eye contact with you, you freeze, wide-eyed.

Friend 1: Yeah, so I hooked up with Sarah last night, and we were having a good time, but Jack suddenly walked in on us.
Friend 2: What happened?
Friend 1: I totally sloppy deered, dude.

Masturmate

Originating from the word "estimate", to masturmate is to guess how much longer one can last while masturbating.

Barbara had ten minutes in between meetings, so after a quick masturmate she decided to flick the bean to relax.