harkness test

The test (which was first coined on tumblr) that monster-fuckers take when determining if they can fuck the fictional creature in questions or not. To be fuckable, the creature must:
1. Have human intelligence (or “greater”)
2. Talk or otherwise communicate with language*
3. Be of sexual maturity for its species.

If you answered yes to all of these questions, you may fuck the creature. If you answered no to any of them, you probably don’t wanna fuck it out of the possibility of beastiality or pedophilia.

*Body language is a dangerous road. Err on the side of caution.

Tumblr user: man i wanna fuck the Loch Ness monster so bad.

Reasonable person: woah man be careful. it doesn’t pass the harkness test.

148👍 6👎

Fuck up

Person that destroys their social life with an unfortunate event they regret so very much

Person A: Dude, yesterday I made out with my best friends in my bday party bc we’re gal pals and now I can’t look at them in the eye
Person B: You’re such a fuck up

Fuck up

When at your birthday party you make out with your two friends at the same time and when other people arrive it’s incredibly awkward.

Person A: Dude, yesterday I made out with them as a joke because we’re gal pals and now I can’t look them in the eye.
Person B: Dude, what a fuck up