duct tape

(n.) The end-all solution to all your problems.

(v.) To solve a problem, to patch up.

Got an asshole who won't shut his mouth? Tape his mouth shut with some duct tape!
Got embarassing back hair? Use the adhesive power of duct tape to rip out the unsightly growths and hair follicles!
Got an annoying roommate who sexiles you? Tie his arms and legs up with duct tape then duct tape his dick to the wall for everyone to see!
Wanna sit on a sofa on top of your car and steer using a broom through the moonroof? Duct tape it to the car!
Got mold on your cheese? Use duct tape to remove it!
Sofa got torn up? Use duct tape to mend it!

I duct taped my life. Everything is all better now. I've mended my ways!

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wtz

Acronym for "What the za," za being a word short for pizza.

WTZ? I ordered a pepperoni pizza from Pizza Hut and all I get are two pepperonis on each slice!?

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pitology

It is simply the study of pits. Of course, a pitlologist must pick a field to specialize in (e.g., watermelon pits, BBQ pits, or the study of pitiful situations and puns).

When I grow up I want to study pitology since I'm so good at falling into them. I'm going to study pits in the Amazon, Aztec ruins, ancient Buddhist temples, and various tombs in Egypt and India.

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ice meme

A chilling thought or idea.

The thought of global ape domination is indeed an ice meme. Wait, there's already an ape running a superpower...maybe we aren't too far from it after all! We're doomed!

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dreary

. How I feel when it rains or when my cello breaks and I feel like part of my soul is missing.

.. Gloomy

Raindrops make me dreary, but that doesn't mean my eyes get teary.

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