Butt Pirate

Someone who is more than happy to drop anchor in poo bay.

Butt Pirate: Prepare ye anus

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Johnson Drips

When a man pulls up his pants shortly after pissing and a bit of urine comes out.

Jenkins was in such a hurry he pulled up his pants as soon as he was done taking a leak; Johnson Drips ensued.

Impossible

A meaningless word.

Nothing is impossible.

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Iceland

A druid on your father’s side 800 years ago was involved in a fantastic scandal where he stole the first born child of everyone in the region of Gaul and put them on a ship to a far away island. They were told to create a society of volcano people who loved to lay about in hot tubs and sing A cappella Viking hymns. That place is Iceland, and your DNA indicates that if you were to ever reproduce with someone there, it would most likely be a cousin (with disastrous results). There is no shame in sterilization.

Don't go to Iceland, go to Greenland instead.

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