Well let me tel you this, if he were to get drunk and get pulled over, he would not pass the drunk test, especially the one where you have to touch you nose!He also likes to watch porn, and one time he was at the store and someone threw a snow ball, and he got pissed, and the old lady he was helping out thought he had DOWN SYDROME!!!! well that noah wallace for ya!!!!!!!!
Noah: She is a hottie
Mark: really,way you say that Noah
Noah: she has nice butt and stuff
Mark: do you think she is looking for "black dick" (Arab Acsent)
Noah: shut up ass hole!!!
2๐ 13๐
He is the founding last super hero of our time! He plays golf with freckled kids! He likes to Break Bread and go Water Fishing! His powers are dance to Techno music with hot chicks! He then Cleans his fridge with Fabric softner and yells at crocidiles because they have too much teeth and never see the dentist!
Little Boy: oh my god some buddy kill me!
Captain Douche Bag: how about no dumass! maybe you should be happy fuck face!
Little Boy: why captain douche bag no one likes me!
Captain Douche Bag: cause your a pussy!
Little Boy: im really sorry sir! i promise to stop wetting the bed!
Captain Douche Bag: good now go protect the planet from Beastiality Porn!!!
THEME SONG!
Captain Douche Bag is a fucking guy with a mask!
He'll eat the rest of the Steak Sauce!
Then he will cry you nothing cause you suck!
Watch out its Captain Douche Bag!
Captain Douche Bag is a fucking guy with a cape!
He'll do back flips on chicken tenders from Hot'n Now!
Then he will pee on your bed blaming it on you!!!
Watch out its Captain Douche Bag!
Kids: We love Captain Douche Bag!! YAY!!!!!!
Captain Douche Bag is a fucking hero with Attitude!!!
He'll race you to the Laundry Mat!! And wash his clothes!
Then he will burn the Kmart store down! cause it sucks!!!
Watch out its Captain Douche Bag!
Watch out its Captain Douche Bag!
Watch out its Captain Douche Bag!
Watch out its Captain Douche Bag!
20๐ 24๐
Well he is really kool, but damn, when you have faggot ass bitches doing the catch phrases from the movie al the time its gets so annoying, and you think to your self, once again someone ruined a good blockbuster film!
Guy: hey Napolen hand me some of your tots
Napolean: no go find your own
Guy: i said give me some
Napolean: no i havent ate all freaking day
(guy smashes his pockets whick was full of tator tots)
Napolean: god you freakin suck!
27๐ 34๐