Assblast Asphyxia

Putting your bare asshole over someone's nose while they are sleeping causing them to wake up from lack of oxygen.
When they wake up, you fart.

Paul passed out the other night from drinking too much bourbon so Randy decided to throw down the assblast asphyxia. Unfortunately for Paul, Randy had some Taco Bell earlier that day causing him to shart all over Paul's face.

7👍 3👎

Favring Off

1. Standing around and masturbating while wearing nothing but Crocs. This may be followed up by sending an MMS to a young female intern.

2. Standing around naked in Crocs deciding whether or not you feel like masturbating.

1. Angelo was Favring Off one afternoon and thought it would be a good idea to send a photo of himself doing to to Shawn, the hot new intern. Shawn did not appreciate the message and immediately reported Angelo to HR. Angelo said he was sorry and now no one cares anymore.

2. Gina walked into her bedroom to find her husband Tim in the middle of the room Favring Off. Gina gasped and asked him what he was doing to which he replied, "Well, honey, I was trying to decide whether or not to masturbate but now that you're home, it looks like I won't have to." Gina replied, "Uh, yea you do. I'm going to go watch Colbert."

9👍 1👎

Make Like A lot

Banging someone that you're really into and like hanging out with even when your not having sex. You don't love each other but take every opportunity to enjoy each other to the fullest.

Me and this chick Sasha make like a lot all the time... she likes to do it in public and in her bed while her husband is passed out on the couch...

It's incredible, I've never felt this feeling but now I know what it feels like to almost love and care for someone.

3👍 3👎

Beetlejizz

Standing in front of a full body mirror while masturbating and cumming on the mirror so that it looks like you are cumming all over yourself. On your last 3 strokes, you should say 'Beetlejizz! Beetlejizz! Beetlejizz!'

This is, of course, based on the popular Winona Ryder movie 'Beetlejuice'.

Josh was trying to pull off the Beetlejizz in his room but his mom walked in while he was saying 'Beetlejizz!' for the 3rd time and ended up cumming all over her.

9👍 6👎

Mop & Glo

Having sex with the cleaning lady at the office and then making her stick around to clean it up.

Brian had been staying late at the office a few days a week. Most people thought he was putting in extra hours, but it turns out he's been pulling a Mop & Glo on Ira, the hot new cleaning girl.

3👍 3👎

Favring

Standing in your living room and masturbating while wearing nothing but Crocs. This is sometimes followed up with sending an MMS to a hot female intern.

Rey was Favring the other night and the new intern, Laurie, didn't like what she received on her mobile phone. She reported the incident to HR and now Rey may or may not be forced into retirement.

Favring

Standing around in Crocs deciding whether or not you should masturbate.

Gina went into her bedroom and her husband Tim was standing around Favring.

Gina gasped and asked Tim what he was doing and he replied "I'm just Favring but now that you're here, I guess I don't have to masturbate."

Gina replied, "Uh, yea, you do. I'm going to go watch Colbert."

1👍 1👎