Jesus

An established Jesus peep may declare the Jesusness of a person, place, object, idea or situation for the sole purpose of observing the reaction of the potentially Jesus peep. This reaction would serve as confirmatory evidence of the Jesusness or non-Jesusness of the peep. The reaction of a non-Jesus peep could range from a look of bewilderment, to a facepalm, to a look of disgust--or simply walking away from the situation altogether. A Jesus peep would convey understanding of the Jesus-ness of the subject through unhesitant laughter, a high five, hand hug, or the Jesus Nod. In addition to these acknowledgements, the most bitchin' Jesus person would readily offer additional insight that further develops the Jesusness of the Jesus topic.

It must also be noted that usage of the term 'Jesus' may serve as an acceptable means of self-promotion. At the appropriate moments, a Jesus person might decide to claim Jesusness--much in the same way a nonJesus person would say, "I'm cool," the main difference being the irrefutability of the Jesusness of the Jesus peep, as opposed to the probable uncoolness of the nonJesus peep. The reason behind this is simple: Jesus is truth, and Jesus peeps only speak truth. Thus, it ain't bitchin' if it ain't Jesus.

Jesus peep: It ain't bitchin' if it ain't Jesus!
Jesus peep: Holy shit, it IS Jesus!

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Jesus

1. Unequivocally bitchin'. Used where awesome, cool, sweet, dope, bangin' and monkey slappin' fail--a term so Jesus it fails to describe itself.

i.e. "That party was so Jesus!" "This guacamole is Jesuser than a motherfucker!" And the ever popular, "It ain't bitchin' if it ain't Jesus!"

2. Truth beyond truth. (Note that this usage of the term carries mystical powers, as it may be used to catalyze the transformation of previous nontruths into truths truer than other truths. It is not uncommon for a Jesus person to Jes-ify something previously nonJesus simply by using the word Jesus to describe it.)

Usage of the term 'Jesus' is highly useful to a Jesus peep. It is through this usage that a Jesus peep is able to simultaneously assert and assess the jesus-ness of him or herself and other, potentially Jesus people.

nonJesus peep: My chips and dip are so bitchin'!

Jesus peep: My chips and dip are Jesus.

Jesus peep: Hitler is Jesus.

nonJesus peep: How is Hitler Jesus? They are two completely different people. Plus, Hitler is directly responsible for the Holocaust and death of six million Jews, not to mention at least three million non Jews.

Jesus peep: Your face is Jesus.

nonJesus peep: How is my face Jesus? I was going to get a sub from blimpie today and I got bored and made eye contact with a baby and the baby started crying and I'm almost positive it was because of my face. Also, the young woman behind the counter didn't put extra jalapenos on my sub and I'm sure it's because of my face. Then I ate my sub and asked the young girl to prom and she said no because of my face and I'm sure it's because of my face!

Jesus peep: This mirror is Jesus.

nonJesus peep: Thank you so much! My face Jesuser than a motherfucker now!

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