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total hamburger

When someone is deeply fried, well done past burnt and has slid quietly into the zone. This special soul has checked out. They can breathe and maybe burp a bit, little more though. They are on the other side of the counter now. Total hamburger.

Vrin: "Man you are fucked up dude." "You've ceased being human."
Jadu: "I know." (Spoken slowly.)
Vrin: "You resemble landfill now."
Jadu: "I know." (Spoken very slowly.)
Vrin: "Dude, you are fucking hamburger." "Like total hamburger."
Jadu: "I know." (Barely audible.)
Vrin: "Dude, do you want a donut or a beer?"
Jadu: "I know." (No audio now.)

by jethrojones September 2, 2012


nookielear spill

When the babe you're engaged in serious foreplay with goes into kitchen and you notice major sauce leakage from her nookie area on your new leather couch.

Vrin: Damn, Sally Sue had a nookielear spill on my new leather sofa last night.
Jadu: How man?
Vrin: We were just foolin around on the couch and she was getting real excited, and left a third of my sofa covered in her liquid excitement.
Jadu: You okay?
Vrin. Kinda. I called the store where I bought it and they said they can't accept nookielear stained sofas anymore.
Jadu: Bummer man.

by jethrojones November 15, 2007

39πŸ‘ 9πŸ‘Ž


juggjasm

A juggjasm is where the male of the species unleashes his manhood on a woman's jugg or juggs. Best if the woman is not clothed, at least from the waist up. Soiling of the clothes can and does frequently occur if proper steps are not taken to prevent soilage.

Vrin: How was your date wih Sally Sue?
Jadu: Great. I gave her a juggjasm on each jugg.
Vrin; Dang. You da man.
Jadu: I know.

by jethrojones January 30, 2009

5πŸ‘ 1πŸ‘Ž


wordless

What most young people's language is. They can't express their feelings in words because they are basically wordless. They only know only a few key words, and specialized grunts such as hamburger, fries, gimme, more, ketchup, dvd, Bud Light, Doritos, Big Mac, awesome, totally, etc. In the near future grunts and lung sounds will replace most all words.

Vrin: How was your date with Sally Sue?
Jadu: She only motioned with her hands and mouth and made grunting noises when we passed McDonalds. She appeared hungry but could only say hamburger over and over. I stopped and fed her 4 quarter pounders, large fries, and a Diet Coke. She was wordless, but appeared content.
Vrin: Did you take her home after that?
Jadu: Yeah. She said I was totally awesome and so was McDonald's Happy Meal. I knew then she was a wordless human bean. (Spelling of bean is correct.)

by jethrojones February 12, 2009

8πŸ‘ 2πŸ‘Ž


Mcdonalds Mclipo Meal

What the heck? Special lipo ports are installed at the tables to suck out the fat from your fat order you just ate. Blue for guys. Pink for girls. Say you order 3 Super size meals. You eat two and connect the free screw in port into your belly button. As you eat the machine turns on sucking out your meals. Calories 0. You then take the other meal and heat it up later. Everybody wins! McDonalds sells more and you control your weight by ordering the McDonalds Mclipo Meal. The fat is then repurposed and added to the fryer. You feel so awesome you order some cookies to go.

Jadu: I simply love McDonalds McLipo Meal.
Vrin: Me too. I lost 80 lbs. on this diet.
Jadu: I'm an addict now.
Vrin: McDonalds really cares about us minions.
Jadu: I'm rewriting my will so everything will go to Mickey D's.
Vrin: Already did that.

by jethrojones November 22, 2020


organic nectar

The natural occuring inner and very organic homegrown ointment that a woman exudes in her nookie and surrounding area when she's ready to git it on.

Jadu: I had a super date with Sally Sue last night.
Vrin: How so?
Jadu: When we were holding hands, I noticed a fairly large river of her organic nectar running down her leg and knew good things were gonna happen.
Vrin: You lucky dog.

by jethrojones November 15, 2007

11πŸ‘ 1πŸ‘Ž


chronic wasting disease

What happens to a man after years of marriage. The man closely resembles a well done burger or at best, closely resembling food left out for too long a time time in Fido's bowl. It is best to leave them alone bringing these lost souls fresh flowers or a large type bone to gnaw on.

Vrin: What is the matter with that guy. He looks like total hamburger.
Jadu: He's been married a long time and has unfortunately developed chronic wasting disease. Yup. The feared CWD.
Vrin: CWD?
Jadu: Yup.

by jethrojones August 11, 2012

15πŸ‘ 3πŸ‘Ž