ouch!

What people always say when I stick my huge cock in them.

Ouch! I was expecting the length, but not the girth!

29👍 52👎

shit prints

The muddy foot prints left on toilet seats by whatever nasty bastard still hasn’t learned how to navigate a modern bathroom.

Gross, I went to use the bathroom right after some dude from India, and there were shit prints all over the toilet seat! I guess I'll hold it.

9👍 3👎

jerk jacket

A special rain slicker worn while masterbating to deter any errant cum strands.

Also refers to a condom worn only to jerk off into.

Whoa, whoa, hold your horses there tiger, lemme get my jerk jacket on first!

11👍 3👎

masterbatory

1. adj. used when someone is hot enough to jank to.

2. n. A special place (study, lavatory, closet used for masterbatory sessions.

3. n. Laboratory specially designed for studying masterbation.

1. Holy shit, I met Kristen's little sis last week, girl is fully masterbatory!

2. If you'll excuse me, I need to step into the masterbatory for a quick tug.

40👍 18👎

freddy got fingered

Tom Green's magnum opus and one of the most underrated comedies in cinema history, bearing a stellar performance by Rip Torn and a slew of cameos ranging from Anthony Michael Hall to Shaquille O'neal.

Seriously, ignore the douchebags who hate this movie, give it a chance, it is hilarious.

Yeah, obviously, if you hate Tom Green you will probably hate Freddy Got Fingered, but whether you admit it or not, the man is a genius.

239👍 171👎

kneegina

The pocket of fat above the knee of an obese person...can be used for sexytime, storing personal items, or as a hand/foot-hold to reach the elbowgina (or other hole).

She wasn't fat enough for me to put it in the elbowgina, but the kneegina was a perfect fit!

35👍 8👎

Bad Santa

Amazingly underrated comedy boasting a hilarious Brett Kelly as "The Kid" and Billy Bob Thornton (in his greatest performance since Sling Blade) as a foul-mouthed, alcoholic Santa Claus.

John Ritter's last film before his death, and one of the most politically incorrect movies of all time.

A Christmas story in a category of its own.

Bad Santa could have been terrible, but the excellent casting made it incredible.

130👍 22👎